I am the BOSS!!!!!!
Your fcuking BOSS!!!!!!!
And I want you to follow my fcuking RULES!!!!!!
Fcuking NOW!!!!!!

I totally deny that I am
Caring as I am not.

I cannot bloody stand assholes who display unproductive reasoning, who procrastinate, who have extreme perfectionism, who dilly-dally over the details, who have cloying behaviour, who manipulate, who display wishy-washiness, over-sensitivity and impracticality. Is this you?

1. The Director - ESTJ

Why this pattern is an asshole: It is because of their general inability to adapt to any new environment. They can be far too demanding and fail to recognize other people’s opinions and feelings. This is because they have a set value system. Accordingly, they come across as too bossy.

Rank as an asshole: 1/16 - Market leader 43.2%. From an independent survey of 132, by others.

This asshole in a relationship: Being a “Right-Fighter”.

It is often the case that this asshole believes that they know best. They will get into disputes with their partners when their beloved does not want to follow their script. Their rigidity and resistance to persuasion can make them impossible to deal with sometimes. They may trample on the feelings of their partner in the process of making their point and end up having to later apologize for being such an asshole.

The Sir Robertson Sole Angle™:

1. This asshole does not have a token animal because they are awful and horrid while animals are cute. I have never had a satisfactory professional relationship with this asshole. It has always been a deal.

2 This asshole believes in responsibility, duty and hard work. This can mean that they sometimes feel at odds with their generation or the people around them. In a world that is becoming more focussed on well-being over work ethic, they can feel out of their element. They believe anything in life worth having demands some sweat and tears along the way; their asshole way.

Go to their pattern

I am the evil and excellent manager.
I am most likely to keep a list of all my friends' weaknesses or marry for money.

I totally deny that I am
Emotional as I am not.

I cannot bloody stand assholes who lay on the sympathy and want pity way too thick, who is lazy, procrastinates, is sentimental, is clingy, manipulates, is narrow-minded and who engages in small talk. Is this you?

2. The Developer - ENTJ

Why this pattern is an asshole: It is because they can be stubborn if new and better ideas do not coincide with their own. They have no problem with conflict and often appear argumentative. They have a tendency to be confrontational and come across as aggressive. Because of their natural leadership ability, they are controlling. They are not in tune with other people's feelings and have difficulty expressing their own emotion.

Rank as an asshole: 4/16 - Deservedly so 30.3%. From an independent survey of 132, by others.

This asshole in a relationship: Prioritizing Other Things.

1. This asshole may have difficulty compromising their objectives for the sake of accommodating others. They have to choose, they may too often prioritize their goals and ambitions over quality intimate time invested into their relationships. Their relationships can seem like an afterthought to their partners and this could hurt them more than this asshole realizes.

2. This asshole has a sly and dark sense of humour that can show up at the most unexpected moments. Although logical, they tend to struggle with giving comfort because they want to provide solutions rather than simply commiserate. At times, an odd thought might go through their head and they find themselves voicing it before the asshole can stop themselves.

The Sir Robertson Sole Angle™:

They build up a network of people that can usher them into positions of power. I have had two career paths prostituted by this asshole. This was because scruples are alien to them. They have no compunction about petty details, such as ruining someone else’s career. They seemed to rejoice in stabbing others in the back, particularly when they can get away with it.

Go to their pattern

I am a dumb jock, probably; definitely.
I want you to to pay attention to me while I make something or fcuk around or play sport.

I totally deny that I am
Smart as I am not.

I cannot bloody stand assholes who ramble, who are negative, who rely on assumptions, who are oblivious to personal space, who over react with emotion, who manipulate and who micro-manage. Is this you?

3. The Results - ESTP

Why this pattern is an asshole: It is because they are not readily able to grasp what other people are feeling, let alone expressing their own feelings. They are so preoccupied with the present that they do not consider what happens in the long term. This leads to their tendency to take risks without any thought. This living in the present leads to a tendency to not carry out commitments.

Rank as an asshole: 3/16 - Rightly so 36.4%. From an independent survey of 132, by others.

This asshole in a relationship: Dismissing Partner’s Feelings.

This asshole can be irreverent when it comes to the sensitivities of others. They have a tendency to act first and think about the ramifications later and may fail to consult with their partners before making making important decisions. Partners may feel like an accessory dragged along in the whirlwind of this asshole's desire for sensation and conquest.

The Sir Robertson Sole Angle™:

1. They are usually dumb as rocks. Which is good because with brains they are really fcuking scary. I had an Assistant State Manager who used to visit my marketing territory and promise equipment and the world to the clients. And never deliver. And I had to placate the clients. I had an ongoing strategy to incessently urge my boss to keep Bruce chained to the office and to never visit Bendigo again.

2. This asshole can occasionally enjoy an abstract discussion but they much prefer action over words and realistic dialogue over existential musings. When this asshole is called upon to sit still and listen to someone catastrophize over the state of the planet, the future and the meaning of life they tend to get restless and bored. Life is meant to be lived for this asshole. If someone is unsure what life means, they believe that the other person should simply go out and do something with it by getting off their arse.

Go to their pattern

I will argue with you until you cry or die.
I will love every second of it.
I live by the phrase "sleep is for the weak".

I totally deny that I am
Likable as I am not.

I cannot bloody stand assholes who sugar coat, who are narrow minded, who have limits, who engage in repetition, who blabber on with extreme political correctness, who display logical fallacies and who have emotional over-reactions. Is this you?

4. The Inspirational - ENTP

Why this pattern is an asshole: It is because they are inconsiderate of those whom they consider to be inferior. They often argue for sake of learning from the argument. They will change positions on a subject in order to learn as much as possible. Often they will ignore others unless they have their immediate attention.

Rank as an asshole: 5/16 - Deservedly in the top 5 22.7%. From an independent survey of 132, by others.

This asshole in a relationship: Being Skittish and Inconsiderate.

This asshole may leave their partners exasperated by their wild and sporadic impulses. They have a knack for rushing into new things and taking risks that their partners may not see as justified or worthwhile. They may also annoy them by being unpredictable and doing things without checking with them first. At the same time, this asshole and their lack of an orderly lifestyle may not jibe well with partners who strive to keep their environment neat and tidy.

The Sir Robertson Sole Angle™:

1. If there are two or more, they are the mass debaters. They see themselves as nice, inventive and perfect people. Except they are hindered by the serious handicap of nonexistence. I had an all in battle with this asshole who tried to claim an approval from 10 years ago was still valid today. Then I exposed him lying. What a surprise!

2. This asshole is a natural knowledge hoarder and they get a real kick out of using their knowledge to prove people wrong; especially people in authority. That said, sometimes they have an easier time proving something wrong than proving something right; even in the asshole's own arguments and debates.

Go to their pattern

Never ask me to make a decision because I just cannot do that.
I am super exhausting because I am CONSTANTLY trying to improve something in the social justice area. I am the 'buttinsky'.

I totally deny that I am
Logical as I am not.

I cannot bloody stand assholes who give out orders, who hold me accountable, who micromanage, who know what is best for me, who are selfish, who troll, who are narrow-minded, who display secrecy, who do not let me take the responsibility of others into my own hands and who give me 'the silent treatment' even though I do that. Is this you?

5. The Persuader - ENFJ

Why this pattern is an asshole: It is because they are gross. While they pefer things to be well-organized they do not like to be forced to deal with logic and facts that do not connect to people or issues. They like the idea of possibilities and thus prefer planning over their own achievements. They have difficulty making decisions and will rely on others to make decisions for them. They judge things too quickly based on their own morals and values without first analyzing a situation objectively.

Rank as an asshole: =11/16 - Seems very low. 8.3%. From an independent survey of 132, by others.

This asshole in a relationship: Doing Too Much

This asshole bolsters their sense of self value and worth from the good they do for others and the world at large. They want to live up to the image they have in their heads of the type of person they think they need to be for people to value and respect them. In the process of investing so much of themselves in other people, they may neglect to invest in themselves. This asshole may base too much of their self-worth on what they do for others to the point it becomes a crutch.

The Sir Robertson Sole Angle™:

1. This is the snitch or tattletale who flies under the radar. They are drawn towards jobs without glory, such as paparazzis, where they can observe the people who do feel love and destroy it for them. My aunt was one of these assholes. She always knew what was best for me that was based on her warped values that did not align with mine. I was delighted to essentially lose contact with this asshole.

2. This asshole is highly aware of the feelings and struggles of the people around them. It is natural for them to try to create harmony, which means they often sort through other people’s burdens and try to help them carry the load. Over time this interference can lead to burnout, stress and exhaustion if they are not careful. Not to mention resistance from the interferees.

Go to their pattern

I consider myself sensitive but I am not. I want to take care of 900,000 people and have most likely told you what to do before.

I totally deny that I am
Innovative as I am not.

I cannot bloody stand assholes who display idealism without action, who are bullies, who procrastinate, who give mixed messages, who give 'the silent treatment, who are selfish and who are innconsistent. Is this you?

6. The Appraiser - ESFJ

Why this pattern is an asshole: It is because they react too quickly and emotionally in a situation that would be better dealt with in a pragmatic fashion. They may also be so absorbed into their own viewpoints that they begin dismissing those of others. They are also sensitive to criticism and may be overly concerned with how they are perceived by others.

Rank as an asshole: =9/16 - Seems low. 8.3%. From an independent survey of 132, by others.

This asshole in a relationship: Neediness.

1. This asshole's need for appreciation and acceptance can compel them to acts of desperation and annoying behaviour. They may overreach and do too much for their partner especially if their partner is more of an independant type of person. If their beloved is the type who likes to handle most of their own business, this asshole may feel unnecessary and unable to express their love the way they know best by being helpful to them.

2. This asshole is deeply in tune with the feelings of the people around them and strives to maintain harmony as much as possible. Often the quintessential hosts or hostesses, they have a knack for knowing what people need and meeting those needs in a practical way. When someone decides to troll an event that they are a part of, they can feel overwhelmed and annoyed. This is especially true when someone brings up a heated controversial topic that this asshole knows will put everyone into a tiz and cause nothing but animosity on a day that was supposed to be special.

The Sir Robertson Sole Angle™:

This is the asshole who uses everything they have to get what they want. I knew one whose friendly and welcoming demeanor made them fairly popular and well-liked by others. But this asshole used their free time to socialize and join group activities ahead of the more essential tasks such as mowing the lawn or checking the tyres.

Go to their pattern

I have a worse attention span than a goldfish.
I need everyone to think that I am awesome and will cry if you criticize me at all.

I totally deny that I am
Driven as I am not.

I cannot bloody stand assholes who engage in pedantic fault finding, who are narrow-minded, who repeeat themselves, who are clingy, who are moping, who mock, ane who engage in aggressive behaviour. Is this you?

7. The Promoter - ENFP

Why this pattern is an asshole: It is because they dislike conflict and criticism in which they can respond with intense emotions. This is because they strive for harmony and cannot tolerate situations that do not go their way. They have a tendency to be smother because of their enthusiastic demeanour.

Rank as an asshole: 14/16 - Seems low 5.3%. From an independent survey of 132, by others.

This asshole in a relationship: The Desire To Abandon Ship.

This asshole likes to be in committed relationships if they can find someone suitable enough to keep anchored. However, they are prone to thinking the grass is greener on the other side and may sometimes wonder if they are missing out on something. They can grow discontent with what they have and fear they might be stagnating. The prospect of being boxed in or constrained by their relationship can spur this asshole to suddenly do things that sabotage or strain relations with their partner.

The Sir Robertson Sole Angle™:

1. This is the asshole who is totally and serially unreliable. And who turns 200% toxic if held to account. I knew one who was a client for a website. But there were always a litany of excuses in the failure to supply up-to-date information with the Webmaster taking the rap. After an extended period, the relationship was terminated. It would make sense to never be involved with this asshole again as the expectation is mega work for little reward.

2. This asshole loves generating ideas, insights and possibilities with enthusiasm with a hilarious twist. Sometimes this asshole can try to take on so many projects and ideas that they struggle to finish what they begin or feel overwhelmed and do not know how to choose. Totally unreliable.

Go to their pattern

I am most likely to yell 'WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! SPRING BREAK FOREVER!!!!"
while shirtless and drinking shots off a zebra or a drunk tart's tits or something else obnoxious.
I am secretly sensitive. Cheers!

I totally deny that I am
Pensive as I am not.

I cannot bloody stand assholes who theorize continually about gloomy possibilities, who want rigid routines, who like isolation, who are impractical, who chew loudly and idiots who stop walking in the middle of a busy footpath or passsageway. Is this you?

8. The Counselor - ESFP

Why this pattern is an asshole: It is because they tend to be too materialistic. They may have the impression that they must purchase the best items. They may also not pay attention enough to their own needs because they prefer to live in the present and neglect the consequences of their actions. Because they are always excited by new things, they may have a problem with commitment.

Rank as an asshole: 13/16 - Seems low 7.6%. From an independent survey of 132, by others.

This asshole in a relationship: Making Their Partner Compete For Attention.

This asshole cannot resist hobnobbing and flirting with all sorts of people even when in a relationship. They are full of vitality and positive energy that they want to share with the world. This can potentially make some partners jealous especially when they want the asshole all to themselves. It may not be the asshole’s intention to make their relationship partner jealous and so they may need to be mindful toning down some of their natural mojo.

The Sir Robertson Sole Angle™:

1. This is the asshole who is virtually unemployable except as an entertainer. They are the classic insensitive asshole who is even more outrageous if you feed them alcohol. As a member of the Oxor™ cohort, I would never even bother interviewing this asshole for a real job.

2. This asshole is the person that others rely upon to show them a good time or acquaint them with new people. Everyone needs friends, even introverts, but often this asshole takes on the role of “friend-generator” introducing the more reserved types to people they hope will click with them. Sometimes they love this, other times they wish people would take more initiative.

Go to their pattern

I want my spirit to floooooooooow with the wind.
I am probably a hippie.
No, definitely a hippie. I need FREEDOM!!!!! or I will cry.

I totally deny that I am
Rational as I am not.

I cannot bloody stand assholes who who suck up by phony people-pleasing, who are pushy, who are rigid, who demand deadlines, who are bullies, who are arrogant, who engage in attention-seeking behaviour plus I hate boring people. Is this you?

9. The Specialist - ISFP

Why this pattern is an asshole: It is because of their tendency to be perpetually cynical which does not translate well with others. They also prefer to live in the moment so the big picture may be omitted out of their goals. They have an extreme dislike of conflict and criticism because they seek harmony and are generally irritated when their personal space has been invaded.

Rank as an asshole: =15/16 - Seems okay 4.5%. From an independent survey of 132, by others.

This asshole in a relationship: Running From Criticism.

This asshole is sensitive and for whom criticism can be difficult to deal with especially when coming from someone they care about. They may turn cold and withdraw from their partner when they feel rejected or judged negatively. When this happens, this asshole may seek validation elsewhere to restore confidence and possibly make their partner jealous.

The Sir Robertson Sole Angle™:

1. This is the asshole who is in contempt of change. I have experienced this asshole as thinking that that they are the the coolest sh1t ever. The stupid arty-farty hipster. While their asshole rank is low, they are not a pure asshole per se. They are both weak-willed and a stay-in-background person. There is hardly anything out there in the Internet. That is good.

2. This asshole is a deeply caring and generous soul, but they need ample alone time to feel like themselves. When they have to spend a lot of time around people they can start to feel detached from themselves or overwhelmed and tired. On top of this, they tend to feel things deeply and internally without showing as much emotion on the outside. Some people think this asshole is angry, distant or upset when they are perfectly happy. This is the vibe that this asshole give off.

Go to their pattern

I will try to save you and everyone else in the world.
Do not ever try to convince me of anything because I will never ever change my own ideas or morals.

I totally deny that I am
Social as I am not.

I cannot bloody stand assholes who display 'brutal honesty' when they are just looking for an excuse to be brutal, who expect their lack of tact and consideration to be revered as a special gift (even though I can be very tactless), who are narrow-minded, who display trivial or fussy behaviour, who are rude, who are bossy, who micro-manage, who are condescending and who make generalizations. Is this you?

10. The Investigator - INFJ

Why this pattern is an asshole: It is because they have high expectations of themselves and others which may lead to conflict. In turn, because they are sensitive people, they strongly dislike criticism as well as conflict and may not readily be able to tolerate it. They may start losing confidence and become unhappy. They are perfectionistic and are always wondering whether or not they are living up to their full potential. They also do not believe in compromising because they have strong ideals.

Rank as an asshole: =9/16 - Seems ok 8.3%. From an independent survey of 132, by others.

This asshole in a relationship: Overthinking Everything.

This asshole is are always looking for something that they cannot quite define or put their finger on. They are perfectionists chasing after a relationship ideal that may or may not be realistic. Even when they find a good partner, this asshole may end up sabotaging their own happiness by fixating on nominal imperfections in both themselves and others and excessively dwell on and over-analyze the actions and words of their partner.

The Sir Robertson Sole Angle™:

1. This is the asshole who does not let facts stand in the way of ideals. I have experienced this asshole as being over fond of themselves and wanting to change the world but not realizing that it is they, themselves, that need to change. I once had a discussion with one who agrued that a Muslim person would willingly fill in a form, without issue, that was clearly marked 'Christian Name'. This asshole is very good at the door slam.

2. This asshole enjoys deep and thoughtful conversation and tends to feel exasperated by surface-level chit-chat. While they know that thete is a time and place for small talk, they often feel as if they are slowly withering away inside as the meaningless conversation continuously leads nowhere.

Go to their pattern

I am the most emotional person alive.
Seriously, so emotional.
I will believe in you SOOOO much but will not tell you because I only talk to people once every century.

I totally deny that I am
Strong as I am not.

I cannot bloody stand assholes who feign humility to garner praise, who are attention-seekers, who are controlling people, who micro-manage, who are narrow-minded and who make judgmental assumptions. Is this you?

11. The Agent - INFP

Why this pattern is an asshole: It is because they can be overly sensitive to criticism, even in situations where no criticism was intended. They may also be overtly consumed with an idea in their mind that they begin to ignore anything that goes against their values. They may also be unable to let go of a problem, including if is not even theirs and allow themselves to become engrossed by it. They develop strong grudges towards other people whom they think have oppressed them.

Rank as an asshole: =11/16 - Seems okay. 6.8%. From an independent survey of 132, by others.

This asshole in a relationship: Being a Doormat.

This asshole can become blinded by their own idealism and have a tendency to stay in unhealthy relationships for too long. This may be due to denial over the reality of the situation. They tend to see things the way they hope and want to see them rather than how they really are. This asshole may endure a manipulative and abusive partner simply because they choose to focus on the best in people they care about and minimize or ignore their massive faults.

The Sir Robertson Sole Angle™:

1. This asshole is not actually an awful asshole. Just totally useless in all aspects as I have seem them as lazy, miserable and a serial complainer. They are likely to find meaning in meaningless things and relationships end typically because of imagined slights, or the realization that nothing that you have said for the last fourteen months has even been processed by their brain. I once had one who complained that the external lights were too bright. And then the moon was too bright. I suggested that she ask Jesus for Dad's number to fix that second one.

2. This asshole is gentle and conscientious but very sensitive as to how they impact others. They sometimes end up in awkward situations because they worry about giving the wrong impression and over-analyze how a simple thing might make someone feel bad.

Go to their pattern

I quietly break every single rule because fcuk you.
I am probably building or fixing something somewhere.

I totally deny that I am a
Ghoster as I am not.

I cannot bloody stand assholes who say "I know what you are thinking", who are incompetent, who are inefficient, who micro-manage, who display neediness, who whine and complain and those who have a lack of spatial awareness. Is this you?

12. The Achiever - ISTP

Why this pattern is an asshole: It is because they have little respect for rules imposed upon them, they strictly follow their own set of internal rules. If someone violates their highly regarded principles, they become hostile and stubborn. They can be inconsiderate of others’ boundaries at times, but they are willing to accept people encroaching on their personal boundaries in the same fashion.

Rank as an asshole: 7/16 - Seems okay 11.4%. From an independent survey of 132, by others.

This asshole in a relationship: Bottling Up Their Feelings.

This asshole can be a closed book most of the time, even to the people closest to them. They maintain a certain detachment and control over their emotions that does not showcase exactly what they are experiencing inside. This can make their partners feel a bit cut off and deprived of the level of intimacy they would desire and feel they deserve from their asshole companion.

The Sir Robertson Sole Angle™:

1. This asshole is the consummate bad tempered bastard. I have seen one act like a child when they did not get what they want causing others to be thoroughly embarrassed because this grown-up baby sulked and then threw a massive fit at a Committee meeting. I have met many of these assholes and they are useful when you want something fixed but not much else.

2. This asshole strives for radical honesty in everything that they do but, unfortunately, this tendency is not always met with popularity or praise. Some of these assholes feel as if they are perpetually offending people without meaning to; simply by striving for as much accuracy as possible.

Go to their pattern

I am disgustingly organized and dutiful.
Secretly, I am a huge cry baby but I will never confront you if you make me upset. Never.

I totally deny that I am
Competent as I am not.

I cannot bloody stand assholes who engage in masked insults ("I was only kidding") which are actually a mixture of pride, meanness and cowardice, who are pretentious, who are tactless, who are arrogant, who are domineering, who do not respect personal space, who troll and who put me in a place where I have to handle conflict. Is this you?

13. The Practitioner - ISFJ

Why this pattern is an asshole: It is because they prefer not to delegate work and hate to be treated as doormats. However, they are too modest to display their accomplishments. They also do not pay as much attention to their own needs relative to those of others. Conflict and criticism are not taken in well as they are grossly and unmitigatingly sensitive. They are risk averse and are rusted on to the past.

Rank as an asshole: =15/16 - Almost the same as attitude to risk 4.5%. From an independent survey of 132, by others.

This asshole in a relationship: Expecting Partners To Be Mind Readers.

This asshole tends to develop pent up emotions that get unloaded in a stress-induced conniption. They remember almost everything and hold against their partners offences and perceived slights that the partner may not even be aware of. In order to avoid conflict, this asshole often holds their peace and quietly deals with their grievances rather address them directly. When this asshole suddenly does complain and criticize, their partners may feel unfairly persecuted for not being a telepath.

The Sir Robertson Sole Angle™:

1. This asshole is not ranked as an asshole, per se. They are just the must unimprissive asshole I have ever come across. They are both a leech and a creep. I admire great leaders and managers. This asshole is neither. One told me that they went to a supermarket to check the quality of the meat and then ordered the meat on-line. It may well come from a central warehouse or another nearby store. I was once at a meeting when water was dripping onto my papers. My suggestion that money be allocated to fix the roof was greeted with the command that I should move my chair. Holy hell. This is for real.

2. This asshole is rusted on to the past and tends to reflect on their past experiences a lot. Unfortunately, for many of these assholes, those past experiences tend to bubble up when they are trying to relax and have a good time or go to sleep.

Go to their pattern

I will do anything an authority figure tells me to do. Anything.
Also, I do not understand sensitivity. I am most likely to think that you are weird.

I totally deny that I am
Authentic as I am not.

I cannot bloody stand assholes who display poor vocabulary, grammar or spelling, who make me put up with loud noise, who are over-sensite, who are pretentious, who lack common sense, who are arrogant, who are chatterboxes and who are late. Is this you?

14. The Objective Thinker - ISTJ

Why this pattern is an asshole: It is because they have a tendency to dismiss other people’s opinions without fully understanding them. They may also have selfish tendencies in which they ignore everyone else’s priorities. They can be boring until they realize that their pet subject of Machiavelli is of no interest to others. Structure is very important to them and this may come across as being too rigid.

Rank as an asshole: 6/16 - Seems high. 17.4%. From an independent survey of 132, by others. Maybe skewed by Germany, Sweden (most Northern European Protestant countries).

This asshole in a relationship: Anal Retentiveness.

This asshole has their way of doing things and they prefer not to deviate from that. Consequently, they may not be open to trying new things in the relationship and may not express enough appreciation for what their partner does for them. They often hide behind a wall of stoicism and dry humour. In relationships, this asshole can be fussy and inflexible about how things should be done.

The Sir Robertson Sole Angle™:

1. This asshole is the rigid rule follower unless they find someone to delete that tendency. They tend to follow what superiors say. I have found this asshole to be an excellent Project Manager and excellent friends. They have the potential to be a Level 5 Leader if they get off their arse.

2. This asshole is sometimes called the “duty fulfiller” and it is really not hard to see why. This asshole cares deeply about their responsibilities and quickly notice when they are letting any little task slide. Detail-oriented and pragmatic, they strive to make the world a more stable and secure place by working hard, solving problems and being reliable. Unfortunately this can mean that, at times, they forego the self-care they desperately need.

Go to their pattern

I question everything that you say or do, even if I do not say it out loud.
I usually will not because it takes a small army to get me to interact with people.

I totally deny that I am
Sensitive as I am not.

I cannot bloody stand assholes who pull rank as titles and status mean very little in the grand scheme of things, who say “Because I said so”, who trust authority over logic or reason, who are overbearing, who are incompetet, who are narrow-minded, who do not respect personal space, and who are emotionally over-sensitive. Is this you?

15. The Perfectionist - INTP

Why this pattern is an asshole: It is because they are totally unwilling to try new things. This is because they may be uncomfortable with things with which they are not familiar. They are not naturally in tune with other people’s feelings and may not display affection or approval when needed. When under stress, they may have an unhealthy habit of showing intense emotion which leads to other personal problems. They may also appear caustic and indifferent to the opinions of others.

Rank as an asshole: 8/16 - Seems okay. 10.6%. From an independent survey of 132, by others.

This asshole in a relationship: Being Oblivious To Partner’s Feelings.

This asshole rates high in “obliviousness” to their partner’s emotional needs. Because this asshole is emotionally low maintenance, they may forget that their partner might not be the same way. This asshole, along with the Developer, Inspirational and the Enhancer may need reminders to pay attention to their family and relationships because they have a tendency to spend much of their time with personal projects to the point that their partners perceive them as cold and uncaring (as do the kids).

The Sir Robertson Sole Angle™:

1. This asshole is the ultra clever bastard who has no mechanical aptitude whatsoever. They always think they know better. They are sore losers and very much adherents to the “once bitten, twice shy” mentality. Unfortunately, they do not understand that others do not function as they do. I knew one with First Class University Honours in Biblical Greek who did not realize that the windscreen washer in the car operated from a bottle that actually had to be filled from time to time. Frightening.

2. This asshole will relate to making light of their feelings as a way to cope. Because this asshole is a thinking-dominant type, they tend to put more weight onto logical analysis and skepticism than believing what their feelings have to say. At times, they may make light of their hardships or emotions in order to try to stay level-headed.

Go to their pattern

I am the most pretentious person that you will ever meet.
And I love that. I am also a nerd. A really gigantic super nerd.

I totally deny that I am
Soft as I am not.

I cannot bloody stand assholes who require sudden obligations to be social - surprise birthday parties, detours to crowded events and (the worst) having a phone handed to me so I can speak to a distant relative, who have emotional over-reactions, who manipulate, who pry, who mouth platitudes, who create noise, who like drama, who ramble and who are hypocrits. This describes my mother and aunt Gwyn. Is this you?

16. The Enhancer - INTJ

Why this pattern is an asshole: It is because they have trouble communicating in simple terms and can grow impatient for others who cannot catch onto their ideas. They can also be unwilling to adapt to a new environment. They may be single minded and dismiss all other viewpoints. They may be so reserved to the extent at which they will not share their ideas before they are fully formed. They have a very tough time with people who make their decisions based on their emotions and traditional social niceties. Those who are fact free. They hold others to account.

Rank as an asshole: 2/16 - Yes, indeed 37.1%. From an independent survey of 132, by others.

This asshole in a relationship: Callousness and Lack of Affection.

This asshole may love their partner but they can have a heck of a way of showing it. They tend to flout things like chivalry and overt displays of affection viewing them as demeaning or embarrassing. Anniversaries, sentimental holidays and other traditions are things that they do not value as much as other patterns and so they may overlook them as well. This asshole can also offend their partners with criticism of their way of doing things.

The Sir Robertson Sole Angle™:

1. This asshole is the most difficult person to get to know. The self-sufficient one person army who has a plan for everything. The loner with high walls and a disregard for idiots and fcukwits. The smug rabblerouser, at times. I knew one who 'stole' a tanker of fuel from a Service Station. Although it took six months for the act to be questioned, to this day the auditor, a Mr. Downey, never figured out what was done. This asshole rarely gets caught. Let them work alone and in charge and they can produce excellent results. And they are loathed by many and understand that; almost taking it as a compliment.

2. This asshole tends to feel overwhelmed by obligatory social engagements, especially if there are a lot of formalities involved. Loud, extravagant gatherings where a lot of small talk and mandatory social gestures are involved feel stifling to them and they usually cannot wait to leave.

Go to their pattern