When someone is showing signs that They're Bonkers™ -
Manipulative and / or Bitter and / or Toxic and / or Narcissistic it can make it easy for you to pick their pattern;
but the Oxor Method™ of treating people the way they want to be treated
may be less likely to be successful.

Is the other person bonkers 
							today or every day?

Observing people when They're Bonkers™ can be handy when picking someone's pattern, however imposing correctly may be difficult and / or impossible as the other person is not rational.

The Narcissist is often Poxic™ - an Oxor™ concept - that means Petulant and Toxic at the same time.

Here are all sixteen patterns, all in They're Bonkers™ mode - you will be here, too!

The definition of 'bonkers' is mentally unbalanced; mad; crazy; stubborn; sometimes offensive: having or showing severe mental illness.

A mentally disordered person is someone whose behaviour is so irrational that there are reasonable grounds for a professional and qualified person deciding that the temporary care (up to 3 working days), treatment or control of the person is necessary to protect them or others from serious harm.

Oxor™ and Elizabeth Hunter™ are not qualified psychologists. This is purely observable behaviour, not any sort of clinical diagnosis; as is the case with all material on this site.

The bottom line may be that folk demonstrating they They're Bonkers™ understand nothing less that court sentences or specific directives in corporate, volunteering, sporting or family situations. You learned this here.

One of our experienced cohort warns of folk behaving like a 'complete toxic fcukwit' - irrational, vitriolic and obnoxious and who will not accept any rational solutions.

This page uses an alternative range of 'animal' images shown for each pattern.

Conducted and composed by Modern Maven Elizabeth Hunter™ - Last Update April 6, 2024

-
 

You must see if the person is being Manipulative

All patterns can be manipulative and manipulative people are not rational so rational methods such as the Oxor Method™ is likely to fail at times. This is Elizabeth Hunter™'s experience. The only solution is to do what you can to avoid them unless there is no choice; then go for them; prosecute them; and get rid of them as soon as possible. Use the thought: I never forget a face but, in your case, I will make an exception.

There are many reasons for manipulation. Manipulation usually comes from a personality disorder, which could be genetic. It could also come from current or past surroundings or environment and used as a survival tool. You are seen as toxic.

This may be if someone is in, or has been in a toxic relationship, they are controlled and abused on a regular basis. Even when the relationship is ended and replaced by a healthy one, the toxic person adopts some of the previous manipulative ways and uses them on others. The person is now similar to their former abusers!

ASSESS MANIPLUATIVE TENDENCIES

1. Investigate if the person was ever controlled and abused. This means that they are likely to be both toxic and manipulative on you. The first sign that they should be door slammed.

2. Match their behaviour with the definition. "Manipulation means to control someone or something for your own advantage, usually in an unfair and cruel manner".

3. Manipulation Indicator A - Behaviour rationalization. While the other person may not believe they could ever be manipulative, they are. They may even know deep down inside that they are using certain mental tools to get what they want from others. Whenever this does come to their attention, they might rationalize their behaviour, but they think their behaviour is acceptable when it is actually vile. This is Door Slam 1 - criteria satisfied.

4. Manipulation Indicator B - Acting blameless. A manipulative person is never to blame, at least in their own eyes. No matter what happens, and no matter how obvious their part is in the situation, they will try to put the responsibility onto someone else. They see themselves as a logical thinker, intelligent and not prone to making mistakes and sometimes may put themselves on a pedestal. If they have a personality disorder, this blamelessness will be even more pronounced. This is Door Slam 2 - criteria satisfied.

5. Manipulation Indicator C - Mind games. Whether they mean to do this or not, they sometimes end up playing mind games with people you love, care about or interact with in a work or volunteer situation. This is a huge red flag telling all that they must have a toxic characteristic. Playing mind games means trying to downplay the feelings of others or make them feel crazy (gaslighting). Instead of listening to your colleagues or others when they indicate that their behaviour is intolerable, the manipulator will act like it is no big deal. When it is actually a big deal. This is Door Slam 3 - criteria satisfied.

6. Manipulation Indicator D - Selfishness. There is a fine line between self-worth and selfishness. The manipulator's selfishness will show how absorbed you are with their own ideas and goals. Manipulation can be seen when they twist everything to satisfy themselves. The needs of others will always come second. Their best interests will always be first and they will do whatever it takes to get what they want. They play the hero/victim mentality which helps the victim develop empathy and want to understand them - do not do this! This is Door Slam 4 - criteria satisfied.

7. Manipulation Indicator E - Controlling. If you think that the other person may be manipulating people, then examine their controlling behaviour. Are they utilizing self-control or are they being controlling of everything and everyone? This is toxic. This says so much about the erosion of the manipulator's personality. Control should be used sparingly and, if the manipulator is controlling things every moment of their life, they are molding everything to their will alone. They will hijack meetings and use fact free vitriol and slander if they encounter any resistance to their control. This is Door Slam 5 - criteria satisfied.

8. Manipulation Indicator F - Inconsistent. Healthy people and relationships have one particularly interesting thing in common – consistency. They might be a little manipulative if they are an inconsistent person. e.g. offering to help and then backing out is inconsistent. Doing this once is not so toxic, but being inconsistent consistently is definitely an unhealthy trait. You will know something is wrong if the toxic manipulator cannot keep your word and be loyal. This is Door Slam 6 - criteria satisfied.

9. Manipulation Indicator G - Pushing Boundaries. They see how far they can push you before you resist or object. This might involve unreasonable demands, disrespectful and dishonest behaviour or invading your personal space.

10. Manipulation Indicator H - Triangulation. Here are some common phrases narcissists and those with narcissistic tendencies use when triangulating.
A) Use of the word 'everyone'. They will start telling you that everyone thinks a certain way or that everyone else believes a certain thing. They might say that everyone knows how difficult you are and/or how great they are. They might say that everyone else believes that they are a great father or a great mother. Saying 'everyone' is a way to make the victim feel isolated in their thoughts, feelings and experience.
B) Use of the word 'nobody'. This is the flip side of 'everyone'. They will say pretty much the same things but will use the word 'nobody' to get their point across and to make others feel isolated, alone and even feeling as if they are crazy and/or losing their mind. If they are saying these things, it is likely that they are starting their smear campaign against the other person. They are likely getting people in the other person's life to feel, think and believe certain things about the other person.
C) Use of the words 'always' and 'never'. They are about exaggeration. They are dramatic and grandiose in nearly everything that they do. They will tell you, or others, that certain behaviour is either 'always' or 'never occurring' - even if the behaviour is actually sometimes/rarely happening. They will tell you that the other person is always drinking or that they never help around the house. This is to get under the skin and into the head. When they tell others, they are trying to dramatize everything so that they can manipulate people into believing them.
D) Use of the word 'even'. They will also often use the word 'even' when they are performing triangulation. They will say things such as 'even my parents think you're crazy' or 'even the people at the supermarket store heard you talk to me like that'. This is used, again, to dramatize statements to make the other person feel isolated, alone and sa if they are crazy.

Elizabeth Hunter™ personally does not advise toxic manipulators. As they take no responsibility for their toxic behaviour, they are relegated to the status of 'non person'. Oxor™ has refused to take them on as clients.

Ever had one of these toxics on a Committee and all the Committee leave? Have you considered the behaviour of various Australian Premiers over time who have demonstrated totally un-Australian behaviour with their belligerence?

Get this person out of your life as much and as often as you can. Realise that the Oxor Method™ may struggle as the behaviour is not rational; but be prepared to stick to your guns and keep on track.

-
 

You must see if the person is Bitter

All patterns can be bitter and these people have had enough of the world’s crap and how they have been treated in the past. But this is their problem and not yours. They are not rational so rational methods such as the Oxor Method™ is likely to fail. This is Elizabeth Hunter™'s experience. The only solution is to do what you can to avoid them unless there is no choice; then go as soon as possible. Use the thought: I never forget a face but, in your case, I will make an exception.

There are many reasons for bitterness. Match yourself against the descriptions below. It could also come from current or past surroundings or environment and used as a survival tool. You are seen as toxic.

ASSESS BITTERNESS

1. Bitterness Indicator A - The person avoids positive people. When bitter, other people seem really happy and the toxic person tends to avoid them. so the bitterness becomes stronger. They get angry about not being able to feel the happiness that others do. They get depressed because the past has robbed them of so much power of good self-esteem.
Positive people can literally make the toxic person cringe when they are a person riddled with bitterness. You should be able to pick up on this indicator immediately. Door Slam 7 - criteria satisfied.

2. Bitterness Indicator B - Their achievements seem small. A bitter person could have many achievements in their life, but they just do not see it that way. If they are bitter, they may downplay the good things they have done. They may seem insignificant to them compared with the bad things that have occurred.
Even if an awards recipient or have a great career these will seem small in comparison to how people treated them in the past. It is closely related to how they feel about themselves in general. Door Slam 8 - criteria satisfied.

3. Bitterness Indicator C - They are judgmental. A bitter person is judgmental on a regular basis. If you catch one talking about people all the time and the things they are doing wrong, then this fits the judgmental mentality. The bitter person may (will) even call people negative or nasty names because they are so angry with the other people.
The bitter person feels cheated, hurt and damaged and so they easily pass judgment on those who they think have hurt you, when usually this is fact free. Here is where the judgment crosses the line: they talk about others who have done nothing to them. It is like an infectious disease. Talking bad about people just spreads and spreads until the bitter person is talking about everyone in a negative and vitriolic light. Door Slam 9 - criteria satisfied.

4. Bitterness Indicator D - Staying away from others. Not only do bitter people stay away from positive people, they eventually just stay away from everyone. They stay away from events and other social functions as well.
A bitter person is not the same as being an introvert. An introvert likes being alone but does not necessarily have hate in their heart, while be a bitter person avoids people and actively dislikes them. There is a difference. If you observe a bitter person angry with everyone and refusing all invitations, they are a bitter individual. Walk past them and they try to look the other way is easy to spot. Door Slam 10 - criteria satisfied.

5. Bitterness Indicator E - Making generalisations, usually fact free. A bitter person will generalise things. If someone hurts them, they will not focus on the individual, they will focus on entire groups that have similar characteristics. This can even bleed into ethnic and gender generalizations. If you notice that the bitter person is generalising about a whole gender or ethnic or a constituted group, (e.g. all the Committee are misogynists) then you have definitely identified bitterness about something rather devastating in the eyes of the bitter person.
However, whatever happened is not supposed to make them generalize about the alleged guilty person’s race or sex or whatever. No one should be categorized because of what they do. Making generalisations is a huge red flag of bitterness. Door Slam 11 - criteria satisfied.

6. Bitterness Indicator F - Holds multiple grudges. Bitter people know how to hold a grudge. Holding a grudge can damage their life in ways they cannot imagine. e.g. If they stay mad at a relative or a boss and refuse to talk to them or see them, they could regret this.
The reason for this monumental regret may be if that relative dies and the bitter person has never found the time to make amends. This goes well if both are incredibly bitter. If the bitter person is holding grudges, then they are just being a bitter person. Door Slam 12 - criteria satisfied.

7. Bitterness Indicator H - Finding change difficult. Bitter people have the hardest time changing things about themselves. They often think that the world owes them happiness and they should not have to change to grasp that happiness they want.
If the bitter person is waiting to be happy while harbouring hatred in their then a bitter vine has wrapped itself around the foundation of who they are. As frightening as this may sound, it is just the raw truth. Door Slam 13 - criteria satisfied.

8. Bitterness Indicator I - Demonstrates continual anger and hatred. It is worth reiterate the power of this in a bitter personality. If you notice that the other person is angry at everything and has hatred inside, bitterness is growing. The amount of hatred a person can hold is immense and can blind them to any good and fulfilling aspects of life. This person is permanently miserable.
A bitter person will act hatefully and always seem angry. Even if it is just this seething undertone, they should notice themselves but they are always the victim so this may not always be the case.

Elizabeth Hunter™ does not advise bitter people. As they take no responsibility for their toxic behaviour, they are relegated to the status of 'non person'. Oxor™ has refused to take them on as clients.

-
 

You must see if the person is Toxic

What toxic really means:
Toxic is when a person is aware of their wounds, their hurt and how their often destructive behaviour affect those around them but refuses to heal, change and improve their toxic behaviour.

What causes the person to be toxic:
1. Copes with trauma in unhealthy ways.
2. Severe anxiety.
3. A personality disorder - e.g. a narcissist.
4. Neediness.
5. Fear of abandonment.
6. A toxic social environment.

How to prevent, improve and heal:
1. Practice mindfulness. 2. Do this by being present and aware of how you think, feel and behave and choosing to relax. This is one of the best antidotes to toxicity as it pulls you out of subconscious reactivity and puts you back in the drivers seat of your emotions and your behaviour. 3. Disclaimer: Oxor™ is of the view that once toxic, always toxic.

In the next section are sixteen categories (Toxic Cat™) breeds of toxic people - Oxor™ has dealt with them all.

Oxor™ has assigned each Toxic Cat™ with each Disc Pattern - find yours below!!

Toxic Cat™ 1. The Energy Drainer.
Makes others feel tense;
Puts others down for no reason;
Cannot ever be happy for others' good fortune;
They are lazy. They work meaningless jobs and do half-arsed work when they do. Or they live off of their parents, friends or partners and are perfectly fine with it. They do not feel any guilt for being someone else’s burden.

Toxic Cat™ 2. The Fake Complimenter.
Gives others classic fake compliments;
Lacks empathy;
Puts others in uncomfortable positions;
They never complement you but get angry when you do the same.

Toxic Cat™ 3. The Pessimist.
Talks down to others to make themselves feel better;
Only cares about themselves;
Tries to talk others out of their dreams.

Toxic Cat™ 4. The Criticizer.
Does not support others in their decisions;
Criticizes every move others make;
Makes others feel as if they cannot do anything right;
Others will always feel indebted to them;
They blame you for things you did not do and for having motives that you do not have;
What you do is never ever good enough.
While constructive criticism is solution-oriented, someone who is chronically judgmental is often bullying;
They are destructive. They are prone to creating drama and arguing over petty issues;
They voice negative opinions without providing any solutions or facts regarding actual problems.

Toxic Cat™ 5. The Manipulator.
Tries to control everything;
Pretends to like the manipulatee and other people;
Wants to make every decision for themselves and others;
Wants to control or manipulate others for their own benefit often using guilt, fear or other tactics;
They make you lose friends so they can maintain control.

Toxic Cat™ 6. The Victim.
Blames others for their misfortune;
Constantly seeks attention from others;
Talks mostly about their excuses for failing;
A refusal to accept anything responsibility for bad behaviour or life choice;
ZERO accountability;
Distorts facts to suit their needs or play the victim;
Passive-aggressive when they feel slighted;
A non or fake apologizer: e.g. "Sorry, you feel that way." broadcast in a tone that was not sorry at all and no changes were ever made.

According to research, the victim mentality (The "Tendency for Interpersonal Victimhood" (TIV)) is a stable construct that people can carry with them throughout their lives. It is defined as "an ongoing feeling that the self is a victim, which is generalized across many kinds of relationships." That is why your 'friend' with the victim mentality always plays the victim and everything that happens in the world is an affront to them.
Researchers say there are four main components to TIV:
1. Need for recognition – whereby individuals have a high level of need for their victimization to be seen and recognized by others.
2. Moral elitism – seeing themselves as morally pure or "immaculate" and seeing those who oppose, criticize or "victimize" them as completely and totally immoral and unjust.
3. Lack of empathy – having little empathy or concern for the suffering of others, because their own victimhood is so much greater than the suffering of others. Also includes an entitlement to act selfishly or harmfully towards others, without recognizing their pain or experience.
4. Rumination – a strong tendency to brood and remain extremely fixated on times, ways and relationships where they experienced victimization and others took advantage of them.

Toxic Cat™ 7. The Greed and Self-serving Saint.
Questions and comments are always about what is in it for them;
They are very selfish as it is always about them and not anyone else;
Others are only important to them when they have something that is wanted;
They will only remember other people when they need something - money, favours, stay with you etc.;
They rush intimacy but they are sprinters and cannot maintain interest for long.

Toxic Cat™ 8. The Drama Queen.
Prone to drama generally;
Drama and strain with their family; or have no close relationships with them;
You may become part of the churn and burn;
They may actually thrive on drama and create chaos in their relationships or situations.

Toxic Cat™ 9. The Never Have Time Brigade.
Never have time or treat their time as more valuable than yours;
They are constantly late or have excuses for not getting together or their sh1t together;
They are never available when others need them;
Unfair demands - Happy to let others do the heavy lifting but no reciprocation.
Demand trust from you based on nothing, while viewing you as someone to be wary of. She shared what she wanted but didn’t want you noticing anything she hadn’t deemed for you to know..

Toxic Cat™ 10. The Ugly.
Become an ugly person under pressure and stress;
They lash out at everyone around them;
They break your trust. The moment you tell them something personal they have a new thing to broadcast;
They know your emotional needs and will purposely withold any support;
They use public exposure of your insecurities as a threat;
Lots of crazy and / or nasty people in their past;
Demand trust from you based on nothing, while viewing you as someone to be wary of;
Share what they want but do not want others to notice anything not deemed suitable for you to know;
They are passive-aggressive - an indirect way of expressing anger.

Toxic Cat™ 11. The Whinger.
Has focus on the negative aspects of life;
Has double standards e.g. promote recycling and leave their sh1t on the beach;
They often whinge, whine, complain or criticize others.

Toxic Cat™ 12. The Lack of Empathy One.
They have little or no ability to understand or relate to the feelings of others;
They may not consider how their actions or words impact others;
They are only with others in good times and disappear when things go south;
They resort to name calling and putdowns - a precursor to defeat;
A total lack of interest in the lives of others and meeting their needs; Secretive and paranoid which is not the same as being private. They can cause important information to be kept from you. Very vague and rarely answered a question directly.

Toxic Cat™ 13. The Assigning Blame and Defensive One.
They often blame others for their problems;
They may be showing narcissism, or an inflated sense of self-importance, which is denial, defensiveness and dismissiveness. They say 'I never said that; you never listen.’ Then they get defensive, downplaying it as no big deal, and dismiss your feelings by walking away.
They are defensive when confronted with their own mistakes or faults;
They find out your insecurities and use that against you;
They take advantage of your good nature;
They will deny anything they do wrong or hurtful. You are always the one who is to blame - never ever them.

Toxic Cat™ 14. The Unreliable One.
They may frequently break promises or cancel plans;
They may fail to follow through on commitments;
Always late;
They flake on plans at the last minute with no real reason; they can be prone for not showing up repeatedly with no word.
They are leeches. They often ask to borrow money or other items, yet they rarely feel obligated to return any of these things and, when asked, turn hostile and attack you for 'having the audacity' for asking for your money or items back;
They are fast to make contact when they want something but disappear again when they have it or they do not think that they will get it.

Toxic Cat™ 15. The Entitled One.
They may feel entitled to special treatment or attention;
They have a sense of superiority over others;
For birthdays etc., they expect gifts but give nothing;
A concern for public image. Project a perfect image to the world and wants that projected back. Peripheral people will but, once in close, you can see quite a flawed human. Once that is exposed, you are cancelled.

Toxic Cat™ 16. The Jealous and Envious One.
They may be jealous or envious of others' success, accomplishments or possessions;
Open door/closed door. One minute sharing personal information. Next time, when asked on the same subject, suddenly the shutters come down as if you were prying. You never know where you stand;
Unclear relationship status - e.g. a shift from 'best friend' to 'the lowest of importance' and then back again. Again not knowing where you stand.

Get these breeds of Toxic Cat™ out of your life as much and as often as you can. Oxor™ does.
The list is never ending and exhausting. Life is too short for their bulltish. And nothing good will ever come out of it.
Realise that the Oxor Method™ may be more difficult to implement with irrational people who are 'bonkers'. But press on!!!

-
 

You must see if the person is behaving like a Narcissist

The following page is particularly useful when read in conjunction with this section:
Narcissist Managers™ - Click Here

Here is why you should never bother to argue with a Narcissist; unless it cannot be avoided. The unique Oxor Method™ is based on reasonably rational behaviour. The Narcissist is generally the 'complete toxic fcukwit'. Here are ten 'toxic fcukwit' criteria - Oxor™ has dealt with them all:

1. Lack of Internalization.
Narcissists do not internalize what they do not want to hear. They cannot handle criticism.

2. Ignores alternate points of view - they are always correct.
If you are trying to get the narcissist to understand your point of view and the narcissist has a different view on whatever matter is being discussed, then you might as well buckle up. This is because you are about to be taken for a soul sucking ride - a ride that will not only drain your every last drop of wherewithal, but will also put your patience to the extreme test and limit.

3. Lack of Reason.
Narcissists do not reason with you. Ever. They will not be told. Fact free usually. Operate in a environment of Fabricated Reality™. Difficulty handling emotion. Angry as they have so much to hide.

4. Never Listens.
Narcissists do not listen to you, they hear you, but interpret whatever you say in a way that suits them, then they throw in their own twisted twist.

5. Time Waster.
Narcissists are a waste of everyone's time if one is trying to exchange any sort of reasonable dialogue with one.

6. The Criticizer.
If you must argue, argue at them, not with them and do not expect any sensible feedback.

7. Being challenged.
They absolutely cannot stand being challenged. They absolutely cannot forgive calling out their lies, deceptions and gaslighting. They cannot forgive you being released from their possessive control.

8. When you wise up.
They cannot get over when you get wise to who they really are. When you finally see through their mask and their guise, they will do anything they can to hurt you. They actually have beeing seen.

9. They must be treated as the Brick Wall.
Narcissists must be treated like a brick wall as they see you no more than the exactly the same.

10. Ten things your narcissist will hide.
True Intentions; Emotional Vulnerability; Mistakes and Failures; Manipulative Tactics; True Identity; Jealousy and Envy; Lack of Empathy; Financial Irresponsibility; Manipulative Relationships; Insecurity.

Here is why you should never bother to argue with a Female Narcissist unless it cannot be avoided. The unique Oxor Method™ is based on reasonably rational behaviour. The Female Narcissist is generally the 'complete toxic fcukwit'. Here are seven 'toxic fcukwit' criteria for females - Oxor™ has dealt with them all:

1. Easily forms strong attachments.
This makes it seem as if like you have known her for years even if you have only just begun talking with her. She meticulously seeks out your vulnerabilities, using them to manipulate you; be it through intimacy or seeking attention.

2. Suddenly, she will start introducing you to acquaintances to make you feel special.
This might involve her saving your name on her phone as 'baby boo,' 'Honey,' or 'Sweetie'. She tends to blame all her past relationship failures on her exes, painting herself as the victim.

3. Employment of various tactics to make you fall deeply in love if that is the situation.
This marks the end of any initial bliss. Gradually, she shifts to commanding, controlling and disrespecting you, leaving you constantly begging for approval.

4. Becoming a skilled storyteller.
She seeks attention from you and garners sympathy by fabricating tales. You will notice consistent feelings of insecurity, jealousy, harassment and passive-aggressiveness. This is especially when she faces any perceived threat to her narcissistic ego.

5. If applicable, she manipulates intimacy, withholding it and using it as a tool for control. Blocking and unblocking you on social media becomes a common pattern and she might even go silent for days or weeks, employing the silent treatment to test your boundaries.

6. If applicable, she resembles a love dealer.
She uses sex to ensnare gentlemen, ensuring a constant supply without ever running out.

7. She is a skilled manipulator.
She uses lies and manipulation to scam you.

8. Eight types of lies used.
You can be vulnerable with me; You can rely on me, and/or I’ve got your back; It is not my fault; It will get better; I’m the most honest person; I am going to change; You are worthless.

Get these narcissistic types of female out of your life as much and as often as you can. Oxor™ does.
Realise that the Oxor Method™ may more difficult to implement with irrational females if They're Bonkers™.

-
 

'Egomaniac Betty Elliott' - The Toxic Operative of a Body Corporate with Narcissistic tendencies - a real story - first posted on here December, 2023.

Here is the base to our story - names have been obfuscated:

In attempts to escape reality, Betty often turned to her exceptional skills, such as making money or physical attractiveness, becoming fixated on seeking recognition for her perceived superiority while dreading the effort involved. As exhaustion and fear of exposure set in, she resorted to various coping mechanisms, which might have included drugs, sex, alcohol and deception to avoid self-confrontation and accountability. Deception and lack of accountability for certain in this event!

As a Persuader, she was not patient when it comes to situations and solutions. There is no 'let's take it easy'. She wants it all now. She wanted to know everything that can be done, all the information now so that they can quickly make a plan and solve the situation and come up with a solution; now. She was impatient and cannot wait. So the project managed her. Involved emotionally and this 'roller coaster' situation is unlikely to be good for her heart.

Also as a Persuader, she is the common liar pretending to be more blunt and focussed than she really is. Told stories about writing a book and as a doyen in the events managment industry when her performance in this story is that she took 9 months to complete a project which had on site works for only 5 days. It was apparant that giving the appearance of a track record as an experienced Project Manager was a fabrication as the systemic and continial errors and mistakes proved. Presents with an air of haughty entitlement. Everyone else was to blame.

It is all about guilt.
People, such as Betty, with nacissistic tendencies and other unpredictable, dramatic, or intense emotions can, at some point, become agressive or passive aggressively depending on how fucked up they are.
The governing, controling, upper hand feeling are criteia that Betty cannot handle or tolerate for one moment. And when the sense of guilt is triggered, their pathology is active. This may include compartmentalizion of thoughts, dissociation, deflection, lies and more lies, rage, denial, ghosting, poor me, crazy making, finger pointing, mindfucking and some other species might become physically abusive.
Her "I did nothing wrong" and "I am superior" and her sense of impunity is disgusting.
Her "I am smarter than getting caught, how dare you expose me?”
Her "I planned this beforehand and played it well and it's impossible that I am caught, called out, or belittled."
Her shitty feeling, what is that shit, do I have to aplogize? Do I really need to expose myself and be vulnerable now? I do better in hostile conversations.
Her having guilt is saying she is wrong; I am never fucking wrong.
Her guilt, the accountability, the sense of being judged and persecuted that they can never tolerate or live with for one moment and the evidence are their immediate reactions to such matters. That's Betty!

It is all about body language.
People, such as Betty, with nacissistic tendencies and other unpredictable, dramatic, or intense emotions can, at some point, be easity to pick by observing body language.
1. Their walk: Often walks with pride and intensity. They usually have broad shoulders and their chest pushed out, showing lots of confidence. They walk faster than most people, with a look on their face as if they are in a hurry and more important than anyone else. They do not make much eye contact with others and seem preoccupied with where they are going, giving off a vibe of superiority. [True!] 2. The 'stare': Sometimes, they give a cold, dead-eyed stare that can be really creepy. It us as if they are looking straight through you and it feels very unfeeling. If you see this stare, it is best to get away from them. [That is what to do.] 3. Eye contact: They do not make a lot of eye contact with others, especially those they do not know well. They may avoid eye contact altogether or frequently dart their eyes away when someone tries to make eye contact with them. [True!] 4. Disinterest in others: They are mainly focussed on themselves and receiving attention from others. They often ignore people they do not know or those who cannot give them what they want. They cancel you, which is great news. This disinterest can make them come across as rude or arrogant. [Very true!].

Here are her failures within the enterprise:
Spent money without authorization. She's going to have to get her legs around the problem that irregularities are a crime that cannot be proven whereas malpractice is a crime that can be proven.
Used malfescence to have her gutter done first out of the common funds my manipulating the Committee.
Arranged for her friend and a 100% toxic owner to have their gutters done, too.
Delegated authority to a works contractor.
Absented herself when the works were being undertaken - a medical excuse 9 months after project approval.
Overspent approved funds. That breaks the law.
Allowed billing of 50/50 of final costs before project commencement; mathematically impossible.
Allowed incorrect invoices to be sent to the owners.
Refused to meet with one or more wise owners who had identified issues.
Did not enforce By-Laws.
Serial By-Law breaker including with colour of gutter, bins left out and own vehicle repatedly in Visitors Parking.

Latest Situation.
Matter to go to the Body Corporate Commissioner. Oxor™ predicts that 'Betty' will not attend the hearing. 'Betty' would not want her narcissistic balloon to be pricked so early in the morning. More to come as our reporter will semaphore.

-
 

1. Can it be the Director - ESTJ?

The Director is the spot fin lion fish

Characteristics:
1. They focus on logic and own goals at the expense of the emotions and needs of the people who are cared about.
2. In the rush for decisiveness and productivity, they may fail to listen and give people the time they need to process issues, or similar.
3. They may over-simplify problems and fail to see the long-term implications or wider ramifications.
4. They brush off or dismiss the views of intuitive types in particular (Persuader, Investigator, Promoter, Agent, Developer, Enhancer, Inspirational and Perfectionist) without giving these patterns' views a fair analysis.
5. They may jump to conclusions in the hurry to have momentum towards their own goals.
6. They are the second worst nit picking customers, focussing on minutiae.
7. They want their own way regardless - you have been warned.

Playing the victim method - do observe - Oxor™ does: After all I have done victim.
How could you do this to me after all I've done for you?

Possible Toxic Breed Exhibited (subject to continual review): The One who Knows It All.

Category of Toxic Cat™ (see above): Toxic Cat™ 7. The Greed and Self Serving One.
Prime feature: Egotistical; needs to be more receptive to others' ideas.

-
 

2. Can it be the Developer - ENTJ?

The Developer is the crow

Characteristics:
1. They dismiss or overlook other people’s feelings or their need for affirmation, connection or emotional support.
2. They decide too quickly without taking details and other people’s feelings into account.
3. They struggle to relax and appreciate the moment for what it is.
4. They set out to accomplish their plans and ignore specifics or nitty-gritty details that could dismantle the whole plan.
5. They are condescending or dismissive towards people who value Sensing or Feeling which is pretty much everyone except the Developer, Enhancer, Inspirational and Perfectionist.
6. They are the bully regardless - you have been warned.

Playing the victim method - do observe - Oxor™ does: After all I have done victim.
How could you do this to me after all I've done for you?

Possible Toxic Breed Exhibited (subject to continual review): The One with High Expectations of Others.

Category of Toxic Cat™ (see above): Toxic Cat™ 1. The Energy Drainer.
Prime feature: Often tramples on others’ feelings, inadvertently hurting their partners and friends, especially in emotionally charged situations.

-
 

3. Can it be the Results - ESTP?

The Results is the wolverine

Characteristics:
1. They may make decisions without considering how they will impact the people they love.
2. They may overlook or miss the wider ramifications of their actions and decisions.
3. They may avoid conversations or studies that involve a lot of theory or conceptual material.
4. In their quest for action, they may become impatient with people who have a preference for feeling (F) or intuition (N) and who want to discuss relationships or conceptual issues. That only leaves the Director, Objective Thinker, Results and Achiever.
6. They are the steamroller regardless - you have been warned.

Playing the victim method - do observe - Oxor™ does: Not good enough martyr.
I've tried everything I can, but nothing is ever good enough for you.

Possible Toxic Breed Exhibited (subject to continual review): The One With No Filter.

Category of Toxic Cat™ (see above): Toxic Cat™ 14. The Unreliable One.
Prime feature: Is impulsive and they can be careless about the consequences of their actions.

-
 

4. Can it be the Inspirational - ENTP?

The Inspirational is the raccoon

Characteristics:
1. They come up with amazing ideas but, when it comes to implementing them, they get distracted and change course.
2. They chronically lose track of details that are important (e.g. paying bills on time, getting the oil changed or brushing teeth).
3. They fail to acknowledge or realize the impact that their decisions are having on other people.
4. They are so focussed on challenging or debating that they damage meaningful relationships or prospective opportunities.
5. They manipulate people or situations to get what they want, rather than assessing their values first.
6. They are the manipulator / debater regardless - you have been warned.

Playing the victim method - do observe - Oxor™ does: Not good enough martyr.
I've tried everything I can, but nothing is ever good enough for you.

Possible Toxic Breed Exhibited (subject to continual review): The One Who is Too Argumentative.

Category of Toxic Cat™ (see above): Toxic Cat™ 12. The Assigning Blame and Defensive One.
Prime feature: Can come across as pugnacious, hostile, sneaky and manipulative. Also, engaging in "humblebragging" — the arrogance associated with insincere, faux humility — the most unlikable trait.

-
 

5. Can it be the Persuader - ENFJ?

The Persuader is the prairiedog

Characteristics:
1. They co-dependently prioritize other people and their needs without weighing the logical setbacks of doing so.
2. They go after their ideals without analyzing the details required to make those dreams a reality.
3. They struggle to relax and appreciate the moment for what it is. They expect too much from people and have high demands
4. They make decisions based completely on their personal values or feelings, without analyzing the logical criteria (facts and consequences). Difficult to admit faults and mistakes.
5. Can be guilty of dishing out fake compliments.
6. At their worst, they seem bossy, conniving, manipulative, hypocritical and untrustworthy, all talk and no action and no sense of a solid moral foundation. They can be judged for being 'too nice' and, therefore, untrustworthy.
7. Can knowingly can lie for social acceptance. Fear of rejection can relentlessly haunt. The sort of lie is that Santa can definitely deliver bicycles down the chimney. That is physically not possible but they will rely on the 4th Century Turkish Saint Nicholas who was said to have dropped bags of gold down the chimneys of poor families. This was despite chimneys not having been invented at the time. Saint Nick was 800 years too early. And the Persuader believes all this crap!
8. They are the continual and persistent interferer regardless - you have been warned.

Playing the victim method - do observe - Oxor™ does: Classic martyr.
Oh, woe is me, no one appreciates me.

Possible Toxic Breed Exhibited (subject to continual review): The One Who is Too Sensitive.

Category of Toxic Cat™ (see above): Toxic Cat™ 5. The Manipulator.
Prime feature: Likes the command, but hates being tested. Also, engaging in "humblebragging" — the arrogance associated with insincere, faux humility — the most unlikable trait.

-
 

6. Can it be the Appraiser - ESFJ

The Appraiser is the parrot

Characteristics:
1. They focus on logic and their goals at the expense of the emotions and needs of the people they care about.
2. In their rush for decisiveness and productivity, they may fail to listen and give people the time they need to process things.
3. Can dish out fake compliments.
4. They may over-simplify problems and fail to see the long-term implications or wider ramifications.
5. They brush off or dismiss the views of Intuitive types - Persuader, Investigator, Promoter, Agent, Developer, Enhancer, Inspirational and Perfectionist without giving the alternate views a fair analysis.
6. They may jump to conclusions in their hurry to have momentum towards their own goals.
7. They are very poor at following up regardless - you have been warned.

Playing the victim method - do observe - Oxor™ does: Classic martyr.
Oh, woe is me, no one appreciates me.

Possible Toxic Breed Exhibited (subject to continual review): The One Who Is The Gossiper.

Category of Toxic Cat™ (see above): Toxic Cat™ 16. The Jealous and Envious One.
Prime feature: Continual source of encouragement but falls into the trap of disclosing one party's secrets or possessions to another.

-
 

7. Can it be the Promoter - ENFP?

The Promoter is the quokka

Characteristics:
1. They do not take care of the details needed to actually create their inspirations. They come up with amazing ideas, but putting together the necessary resources and details to make those ideas a reality never seems to happen. They never have time.
2. They de-prioritize self-care and tend to forget about things like hydrating, getting enough sleep or sticking to a healthy routine.
3. They overextend by saying yes to too many interesting possibilities and ignoring their own physical needs or the boundaries of their actual schedule.
4. They fail to back up their ideas against facts, reason or logic.
5. They become forgetful, scattered and unrealistic.
6. When they have assassinated your character, on a fact free basis, they will expect more favours even though they have never done one for you and the score is 1000 - 0. It is mentioned on Oxor™ again and again. Never, ever, do a favour for a Promoter. They are very unlikely to or will never reciprocate.
7. Often drama factories. They can get very wrapped up in their emotions and what they feel is right. The feelings area is where it gets toxic. They become impervious to logic and often resort to personal attacks and threats to shut down opposition. Their emotions end up ruling them and anything that does not agree with their rigid word view is automatically evil. This is compounded by their vast capacity for rationalization, lack of self reflection and self examination.
8. They are the most evil (200%) of all behaviours when toxic regardless - you have been warned.

Playing the victim method - do observe - Oxor™ does: The classic victim.
How could this happen to me? I'm never good enough.

Possible Toxic Breed Exhibited (subject to continual review): The Too Needy One.

Category of Toxic Cat™ (see above): Toxic Cat™ 9. The Never Has Time One.
Prime feature: Clingy. Has so much on they never have time and are unreliable, late and never finish.

-
 

8. Can it be the Counselor - ESFP

The Counselor is the cuttlefish

Characteristics:
1. They may be overly impulsive and fail to consider the long-term consequences of their actions.
2. They may avoid people or concepts that seem overly theoretical or conceptual.
3. They might consistently put enjoyment ahead of their responsibilities and obligations.
4. They may struggle to prioritize and organize their schedule so that they can achieve the things they want.
5. They are the disorganised party animal regardless - you have been warned.

Playing the victim method - do observe - Oxor™ does: The classic victim.
How could this happen to me? I'm never good enough.

Possible Toxic Breed Exhibited (subject to continual review): The One Who is Too Impulsive.

Category of Toxic Cat™ (see above): Toxic Cat™ 8. The Drama Queen.
Prime feature: Impulsive, poor planner, goes overboard, makes hasty decisions.

-
 

9. Can it be the Specialist - ISFP

The Specialist is the soala

Characteristics:
1. They may avoid thinking about the long-term implications of actions or decisions.
2. They may start projects and leave them half-finished regularly because they get frustrated with the implementation process and organizing the task and finding the time.
3. They cannot take criticism without getting defensive and self-righteous.
4. They may avoid people or situations that would require them to explore conceptual or theoretical topics.
5. They need constant managerial supervision regardless - you have been warned.

Playing the victim method - do observe - Oxor™ does: The classic victim.
How could this happen to me? I'm never good enough.

Possible Toxic Breed Exhibited (subject to continual review): The Aloof One. However, tries to avoid any kind of stressful situations and does not like open forms of aggression (but sometimes can be passive-aggressive).

Category of Toxic Cat™ (see above): Toxic Cat™ 9. The Entitled One.
Prime feature: They may feel entitled to special treatment or attention and have a sense of superiority over others. Also comes across as too laid-back or indifferent to individuals who prefer structure and regulation.

-
 

10. Can it be the Investigator - INFJ?

The Investigator is the fox

Characteristics:
1. They have amazing ideas but it is nearly impossible for them to verbalize them.
2. They dedicate their life to their vision, but fail to analyze it logically or practically. This results in ideas that never become fully realized.
3. They are so single-minded in pursuit of their vision that they forget to enjoy what life has to offer them right now.
4. They feel out of touch with the world around them and their physical body. They can have a patronizing, belittling, or condescending thoughts and put people down. This is more pronounced towards people who value sensing - i.e. Director, Objective Thinker, Appraiser, Practitioner, Results, Achiever, Counselor and Specialist. But even ones who can brush this behaviour off, such as the Enhancer, will eventually shout "Enough!".
5. Can become an emotional parasite, sucking the life out of people close to them until a better victim crosses their path. They are prone to using vicious methods to shutdown opposition and are master manipulators.
6. Dishes out fake compliments like a machine.
7. They are the second best door slammer (behind the Enhancer).
8. They have a martyr complex, everything becomes a personal slight against them and they responded accordingly regardless - you have been warned.

Playing the victim method - do observe - Oxor™ does: Classic martyr.
Oh, woe is me, no one appreciates me.

Possible Toxic Breed Exhibited (subject to continual review): The Too Private One. However, also does not like conflict and tries to avoid that.

Category of Toxic Cat™ (see above): Toxic Cat™ 2. The Fake Complimenter.
Prime feature: Compliments are insincere or patronizing. Their secretive tendency may appear as if they do not trust or cherish those closest if they do not open out.

-
 

11. Can it be the Agent - INFP?

The Agent is the capybara

Characteristics:
1. They have incredible ideas, but when it comes to implementing them they feel lost. Rather than seek out advice or help, they get stuck with inaction.
2. When someone argues with them or offers criticism, instead of listening with an open mind and looking at the logic, they double-down on their stance and only focus on their internal viewpoint.
3. They use logical fallacies on a regular basis and fail to see the inconsistencies in their arguments.
4. They struggle to prioritize routine healthy habits such as getting enough sleep, drinking enough water or sticking to a healthy exercise routine.
5. The bloggosphere rebrands the Agent as Insecure, Needy as Fcuk, a Failure, Practically dead inside.
6. Oxor™ salutes the Agent who told them: "I have so many things wrong with me - all undiagnosed". Good grief! That is playing the 'woe is me' martyr.
7. They are in La La Land regardless - you have been warned.

Playing the victim method - do observe - Oxor™ does: The classic victim.
How could this happen to me? I'm never good enough.

Possible Toxic Breed Exhibited (subject to continual review): The Victim With Their Head in the Clouds.

Category of Toxic Cat™ (see above): Toxic Cat™ 11. The Whinger.
Prime feature: Never ever satisfied and never takes any action.

-
 

12. Can it be the Achiever - ISTP?

The Achiever is the water deer

Characteristics:
1. They inadvertently damage relationships by overlooking others’ emotional needs or values.
2. They forget to consider the wider ramifications and long-term implications of their decisions.
3. They make decisions and fail to realize how they will emotionally impact others.
4. They struggle to decide which actions will have the best long-term impact on their life.
5. They are prone to be tinkering with something mechanical regardless - you have been warned.

Playing the victim method - do observe - Oxor™ does: Not good enough martyr.
I've tried everything I can, but nothing is ever good enough for you.

Possible Toxic Breed Exhibited (subject to continual review): The Tradie With the Violent Temper. However, does not give a sh1t about people’s bad behaviour and generally would not react to stupid provocations of others.

Category of Toxic Cat™ (see above): Toxic Cat™ 10. The Ugly.
Prime feature: Insensitive and lashes out.

-
 

13. Can it be the Practitioner - ISFJ?

The Practitioner is the red panda

Characteristics:
1. They may struggle to see the long-term implications or wider ramifications of current decisions or actions.
2. They may struggle to express their needs and desires or set up healthy boundaries as they cannot cope with dealing with conflict.
3. They may struggle to consider a decision logically when people’s emotions are involved.
4. They may struggle to understand their full potential or accept new and unusual possibilities.
5. They are the worst leaders and managers regardless - you have been warned.

Playing the victim method - do observe - Oxor™ does: Classic martyr.
Oh, woe is me, no one appreciates me.

Possible Toxic Breed Exhibited (subject to continual review): The Victim Too Set in Their Own Views. However, is often a people-pleaser and usually avoids any kind of drama.

Category of Toxic Cat™ (see above): Toxic Cat™ 6. The Victim.
Prime feature: Inflexible and suspicious of outside viewpoints. Takes everything personally instead of making it better. It could take days, weeks or even months to get them to do something out of their usual routine. Also passive-aggressive to avoid taking responsibility. If you are ordering food, they might say 'I do not care, get anything'. But then they do not like it and imply that it is your fault.

-
 

14. Can it be the Objective Thinker - ISTJ?

The Objective Thinker is the cat

Characteristics:
1. They may devalue or dismiss the emotional concerns of other people or else fail to give acknowledgment or empathy for those emotions.
2. They may fail to see the long-term implications or wider ramifications of a current situation or decision.
3. They may automatically dismiss new ideas or possibilities because they do not match up with what they know.
4. They may consider logic so much that they ignore the impact their decisions have on other people.
5. If someone poses a threat, they can quickly turn their enemy's defects against them while patiently concocting the perfect scheme to render their plot ineffective.
6. They are considered boring by some regardless - you have been warned.

Playing the victim method - do observe - Oxor™ does: After all I have done victim.
How could you do this to me after all I've done for you?

Possible Toxic Breed Exhibited (subject to continual review): The One who is Unwilling to Compromise. However, has many other things to do that are more important than creating drama and conflict.

Category of Toxic Cat™ (see above): Toxic Cat™ 3. The Pessimist.
Prime feature: Rigidity and lack of empathy can occasionally show up as a tendency to do it their way approach. Plans are wonderful, but they do change from time to time.

-
 

15. Can it be the Perfectionist - INTP?

The Perfectionist is the elephant shrew

Characteristics:
1. They are insensitive to other people’s emotions and personal needs.
2. They feel like everyone else is imposing on them and they fail to respect the other person's desire for connection.
3. They de-prioritize activities, perspectives or projects because they are not "logical" instead of seeing their value.
4. They chronically forget important but mundane details such as paying bills, self-care or routine doctor’s visits.
5. They have a propensity to become so engrossed in their reasoning that they lose sight of any emotional implications.
6. They are the worst nit picking customers of all.
7. They are most likely to be a recluse regardless - you have been warned.

Playing the victim method - do observe - Oxor™ does: Not good enough martyr.
I've tried everything I can, but nothing is ever good enough for you.

Possible Toxic Breed Exhibited (subject to continual review): The One Who Seems Detatched.

Category of Toxic Cat™ (see above): Toxic Cat™ 12. The Lack of Empathy One.
Prime feature: Indifferent and totally impractical.

-
 

16. Can it be the Enhancer - INTJ?

The Enhancer is the cassowary

Characteristics:
1. They get so married to their ideas and patterns that they overlook details or facts that might contradict them or they may have missed.
2. They fail to realize the impact or significance of other people’s emotional needs.
3. They see other people as nuisances and fail to see their efforts or good qualities.
4. They fail to praise or affirm others.
5. They struggle to recognize their physical needs or the details of what is happening around them.
6. They may be (or definitely be) condescending or dismissive to people who have a preference for sensing or feeling - i.e. to all except for the Developer, Inspirational, Perfectionist and other Enhancers. They are impressed by the Objective Thinker, though.
7. They are just the kind of cat who will either let you know they do not like you and / or probably distance themselves instead of manipulating you. You will get left behind. They will plot revenge and that may take years to come to fruition.
8. They are not exactly the warm and fuzzy type, which is fine, to some people. That can come across as arrogant and rude. To really show off dry wit and astute observations, they are better with more one-on-one conversations with people.
9. They are the best door slammer, bar none. This may be done without the other person even realizing.
10. They are the most difficult pattern to get to know regardless - you have been warned.

Playing the victim method - do observe - Oxor™ does: After all I have done victim.
How could you do this to me after all I've done for you? This has applied to a member of the Oxor™ cohort when exiting two senior volunteer positions. All their improvements were wiped immediately.

Possible Toxic Breed Exhibited (subject to continual review): The Cold One.

Category of Toxic Cat™ (see above): Toxic Cat™ 4. The Criticizer.
Prime feature: Once they sense how things will unfold, they work backwards to see the most likely trends and how each piece or person played a part. This makes it nearly impossible to hide a plan from an Enhancer. They see that others plans are next to useless.

-