When someone is showing signs of being 'Bonkers' -
Manipulative and / or Bitter and / or Toxic it can make it easy for you to pick their pattern;
but the Oxor Method™ of treating people the way they want to be treated unlikely to be successful.

Is the other person bonkers 
							today or every day?
Observing people when they are 'bonkers' can be handy when picking someone's pattern, however imposing correctly may be difficult and impossible.

Here are all sixteen patterns, all in bonkers mode - you will be here, too!


The definition of bonkers is mentally unbalanced; mad; crazy; stubborn; sometimes offensive : having or showing severe mental illness. A mentally disordered person is someone whose behaviour is so irrational that there are reasonable grounds for a professional and qualified person deciding that the temporary care (up to 3 working days), treatment or control of the person is necessary to protect them or others from serious harm.

Oxor and Elizabeth Hunter™ are not qualified psychologists. This is purely observable behaviour, not any sort of clinical diagnosis; as is the case with all material on this site.

The bottom line may be that folk demonstrating bonkers behaviour understand nothing less that court sentences or specific directives in a corporate, volunteering, sporting or family situation. You learned this here.

One of our experienced cohort warns of folk behaving like a 'complete toxic fuckwit' - irrational, vitriolic and obnoxious and who will not accept any rational solutions.

This page introduces a new range of animal for each pattern.

Conducted and composed by Modern Maven Elizabeth Hunter™ - Last Update June 8, 2021

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You must see if the person is a Manipulator

All patterns can be manipulative and manipulative people are not rational so rational methods such as the Oxor Method™ is likely to fail. This is Elizabeth Hunter™'s experience. The only solution is to do what you can to avoid them unless there is no choice; then go as soon as possible. Use the thought: I never forget a face but, in your case, I will make an exception.

There are many reasons for manipulation. Manipulation usually comes from a personality disorder, which could be genetic. It could also come from current or past surroundings or environment and used as a survival tool. You are seen as toxic.

This may be if someone is in, or has been in a toxic relationship, they are controlled and abused on a regular basis. Even when the relationship is ended and replaced by a healthy one, the toxic person adopts some of the previous manipulative ways and uses them on others. The person is now similar to their former abusers!

ASSESS MANIPLUATIVE TENDENCIES

1. Investigate if the person was ever controlled and abused. This means that they are likely to be toxic and manipulative on you. The first sign that they should be door slammed.

2. Match their behaviour with the definition. "Manipulation means to control someone or something for your own advantage, usually in an unfair and cruel manner".

3. Manipulation Indicator A - Behaviour rationalization. While the other person may not believe they could ever be manipulative, they are. They may even know deep down inside that they are using certain mental tools to get what they want from others. Whenever this does come to their attention, they might rationalize their behaviour, but they think their behaviour is acceptable when it is actually vile. Door Slam 1 - criteria satisfied.

4. Manipulation Indicator B - Acting blameless. A manipulative person is never to blame, at least in their own eyes. No matter what happens, and no matter how obvious their part is in the situation, they will try to put the responsibility onto someone else. They see themselves as a logical thinker, intelligent and not prone to making mistakes and sometimes may put themselves on a pedestal. If they have a personality disorder, this blamelessness will be even more pronounced. Door Slam 2 - criteria satisfied.

5. Manipulation Indicator C - Mind games. Whether they mean to do this or not, they sometimes end up playing mind games with people you love, care about or interact with in a work or volunteer situation. This is a huge red flag telling all that they must have a toxic characteristic. Playing mind games means trying to downplay the feelings of others or make them feel crazy (gaslighting). Instead of listening to your colleagues or others when they indicate that their behaviour is intolerable, the manipulator will act like it is no big deal. When it is actually a big deal. Door Slam 3 - criteria satisfied.

6. Manipulation Indicator D - Selfishness. There is a fine line between self-worth and selfishness. The manipulator's selfishness will show how absorbed you are with their own ideas and goals. Manipulation can be seen when they twist everything to satisfy themselves. The needs of others will always come second. Their best interests will always be first and they will do whatever it takes to get what they want. Door Slam 4 - criteria satisfied.

7. Manipulation Indicator E - Controlling. If you think that the other person may be manipulating people, then examine their controlling behaviour. Are they utilizing self-control or are they being controlling of everything and everyone? This is toxic. This says so much about the erosion of the manipulator's personality. Control should be used sparingly, and if the manipulator is controlling things every moment of their life, they are molding everything to their will alone. They will hijack meetings and use fact free vitriol and slander if they encounter any resistance to their control. Door Slam 5 - criteria satisfied.

8. Manipulation Indicator F - Inconsistent. Healthy people and relationships have one particularly interesting thing in common – consistency. They might be a little manipulative if they are an inconsistent person. e.g. offering to help and then backing out is inconsistent. Doing this once is not so toxic, but being inconsistent consistently is definitely an unhealthy trait. You will know something is wrong if the toxic manipulator cannot keep your word and be loyal. Door Slam 6 - criteria satisfied.

Elizabeth Hunter™ personally does not counsel toxic manipulators. As they take no responsibility for their toxic behaviour, they are relegated to the status of 'non person'.

Ever had one of these toxics on a Committee and all the Committee leave? Have you considered the behaviour of various Australian Premiers who are totally un-Australian in their belligerence?

Get this person out of your life as much and as often as you can. Realise that the Oxor Method™ may struggle.

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You must see if the person is Bitter

All patterns can be bitter and these people have had enough of the world’s crap and how they’ve been treated in the past. But this is their problem and not yours. They are not rational so rational methods such as the Oxor Method™ is likely to fail. This is Elizabeth Hunter™'s experience. The only solution is to do what you can to avoid them unless there is no choice; then go as soon as possible. Use the thought: I never forget a face but, in your case, I will make an exception.

There are many reasons for bitterness. Match yourself against the descriptions below. It could also come from current or past surroundings or environment and used as a survival tool. You are seen as toxic.

ASSESS BITTERNESS

1. Bitterness Indicator A - The person avoids positive people. When bitter other people seem really happy and the toxic person tends to avoid them. so the bitterness becomes stronger. They get angry about not being able to feel the happiness that others do. They get depressed because the past has robbed them of so much power of good self-esteem.
Positive people can literally make the toxic person cringe when they are a person riddled with bitterness. You should be able to pick up on this indicator immediately. Door Slam 7 - criteria satisfied.

2. Bitterness Indicator B - Their achievements seem small. A bitter person could have many achievements in their life, but they just do not see it that way. If they are bitter, they may downplay the good things they have done. They may seem insignificant to them compared with the bad things that have occurred.
Even if an awards recipient or have a great career these will seem small in comparison to how people treated them in the past. It is closely related to how they feel about themselves in general. Door Slam 8 - criteria satisfied.

3. Bitterness Indicator C - They are judgmental. A bitter person is judgmental on a regular basis. If you catch one talking about people all the time and the things they are doing wrong, then this fits the judgmental mentality. The bitter person may (will) even call people negative or nasty names because they are so angry with the other people.
The bitter person feels cheated, hurt and damaged and so they easily pass judgment on those who they think have hurt you, when usually this is fact free. Here is where the judgment crosses the line: they talk about others who have done nothing to them. It is like an infectious disease. Talking bad about people just spreads and spreads until the bitter person is talking about everyone in a negative and vitriolic light. Door Slam 9 - criteria satisfied.

4. Bitterness Indicator D - Staying away from others. Not only do bitter people stay away from positive people, they eventually just stay away from everyone. They stay away from events and other social functions as well.
A bitter person is not the same as being an introvert. An introvert likes being alone but does not necessarily have hate in their heart, while be a bitter person avoids people and actively dislikes them. There is a difference. If you observe a bitter person angry with everyone and refusing all invitations, they are a bitter individual. Door Slam 10 - criteria satisfied.

5. Bitterness Indicator E - Making generalisations, usually fact free. A bitter person will generalise things. If someone hurts them, they will not focus on the individual, they will focus on entire groups that have similar characteristics. This can even bleed into ethnic and gender generalizations. If you notice that the bitter person is generalising about a whole gender or ethnic or a constituted group, (e.g. all the Committee are misogynists) then you have definitely identified bitterness about something rather devastating in the eyes of the bitter person.
However, whatever happened is not supposed to make them generalize about the alleged guilty person’s race or sex or whatever. No one should be categorized because of what they do. Making generalisations is a huge red flag of bitterness. Door Slam 11 - criteria satisfied.

6. Bitterness Indicator F - Holds multiple grudges. Bitter people know how to hold a grudge. Holding a grudge can damage their life in ways they cannot imagine. e.g. If they stay mad at a relative or a boss and refuse to talk to them or see them, they could regret this.
The reason for this monumental regret may be if that relative dies and the bitter person has never found the time to make amends. This goes well if both are incredibly bitter. If the bitter person is holding grudges, then they are just being a bitter person. Door Slam 12 - criteria satisfied.

7. Bitterness Indicator H - Finds change difficult. Bitter people have the hardest time changing things about themselves. They often think that the world owes them happiness and they should not have to change to grasp that happiness they want.
If the bitter person is waiting to be happy while harbouring hatred in their then a bitter vine has wrapped itself around the foundation of who they are. As frightening as this may sound, it is just the raw truth. Door Slam 13 - criteria satisfied.

8. Bitterness Indicator I - Demonstrates continual anger and hatred. It is worth reiterate the power of this in a bitter personality. If you notice that the other person is angry at everything and has hatred inside, bitterness is growing. The amount of hatred a person can hold is immense and can blind them to any good and fulfilling aspects of life. This person is permanently miserable.
A bitter person will act hatefully and always seem angry. Even if it is just this seething undertone, they should notice themselves but they are always the victim so this may not always be the case.

Elizabeth Hunter™ does not counsel bitter people. As they take no responsibility for their toxic behaviour, they are relegated to the status of 'non person'.

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You must see if the person is Toxic

Here are six breeds of toxic people - Oxor has dealt with them all:

1. The Energy Drainer.
Makes others feel tense;
Puts others down for no reason;
Cannot be happy for others good fortune.

2. The Fake Complimenter.
Gives others fake compliments;
Lacks empathy;
Puts others in uncomfortable positions.

3. The Pessimist.
Talks down to others to make themselves feel better;
Only cares about themselves;
Tries to talk others out of their dreams.

4. The Criticizer.
Does not support others in their decisions;
Criticizes every move others make;
Makes others feel as if they cannot do anything right.

5. The Manipulator.
Try to control everything;
Pretends to like the manipulatee and other people;
Wants to make every decision for themselves and others.

6. The Victim.
Blames others for their misfortune;
Constantly seeks attention from others;
Talks mostly about their excuses for failing.

Get these breeds of people out of your life as much and as often as you can.
Realise that the Oxor Method™ may struggle with people who are 'bonkers'.

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1. Can it be the Director - ESTJ?

The Director is the spot fin lion fish

Characteristics:
1. They focus on logic and own goals at the expense of the emotions and needs of the people who are cared about.
2. In the rush for decisiveness and productivity, they may fail to listen and give people the time they need to process issues or similar.
3. They may over-simplify problems and fail to see the long-term implications or wider ramifications.
4. They brush off or dismiss the views of intuitive types in particular (Persuader, Investigator, Promoter, Agent, Developer, Enhancer, Inspirational and Perfectionist) without giving their views a fair analysis.
5. They may jump to conclusions in the hurry to have momentum towards their own goals.
6. They want their own way regardless - you have been warned.

Possible Toxic Breed Exhibited (subject to continual review):
The Manipulator.

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2. Can it be the Developer - ENTJ?

The Developer is the crow

Characteristics:
1. They dismiss or overlook other people’s feelings or their need for affirmation, connection or emotional support.
2. They decide too quickly without taking details and other people’s feelings into account.
3. They struggle to relax and appreciate the moment for what it is.
4. They set out to accomplish their plans and ignore specifics or nitty-gritty details that could dismantle the whole plan.
5. They are condescending or dismissive towards people who value Sensing or Feeling which is pretty much everyone except the Developer, Enhancer, Inspirational and Perfectionist.
6. They are the bully regardless - you have been warned.

Possible Toxic Breed Exhibited (subject to continual review):
The Criticizer.

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3. Can it be the Results - ESTP?

The Results is the wolverine

Characteristics:
1. They may make decisions without considering how they will impact the people they love.
2. They may overlook or miss the wider ramifications of their actions and decisions.
3. They may avoid conversations or studies that involve a lot of theory or conceptual material.
4. In their quest for action, they may become impatient with people who have a preference for feeling (F) or intuition (N) and who want to discuss relationships or conceptual issues. That only leaves the Director, Objective Thinker, Results and Achiever.
6. They are the steamroller regardless - you have been warned.

Possible Toxic Breed Exhibited (subject to continual review):
The Manipulator.

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4. Can it be the Inspirational - ENTP?

The Inspirational is the raccoon

Characteristics:
1. They come up with amazing ideas but, when it comes to implementing them, they get distracted and change course.
2. They chronically lose track of details that are important (e.g. paying bills on time, getting the oil changed or brushing teeth).
3. They fail to acknowledge or realize the impact that their decisions are having on other people.
4. They are so focussed on challenging or debating that they damage meaningful relationships or prospective opportunities.
5. They manipulate people or situations to get what they want, rather than assessing their values first.
6. They are the manipulator / debater regardless - you have been warned.

Possible Toxic Breed Exhibited (subject to continual review):
The Manipulator; The Energy Drainer.

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5. Can it be the Persuader - ENFJ?

The Persuader is the prairiedog

Characteristics:
1. They co-dependently prioritise other people and their needs without weighing the logical setbacks of doing so.
2. They go after their ideals without analyzing the details required to make those dreams a reality.
3. They struggle to relax and appreciate the moment for what it is.
4. They make decisions based completely on thei personal values or feelings, without analyzing the logical criteria.
5. They are the interferer regardless - you have been warned.

Possible Toxic Breed Exhibited (subject to continual review):
The Manipulator.

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6. Can it be the Appraiser - ESFJ

The Appraiser is the parrot

Characteristics:
1. They focus on logic and their goals at the expense of the emotions and needs of the people they care about.
2. In their rush for decisiveness and productivity, they may fail to listen and give people the time they need to process things.
3. They may over-simplify problems and fail to see the long-term implications or wider ramifications.
4. They brush off or dismiss the views of Intuitive types - Persuader, Investigator, Promoter, Agent, Developer, Enhancer, Inspirational and Perfectionist. without giving the alternate views a fair analysis.
5. They may jump to conclusions in their hurry to have momentum towards their own goals.
6. They are very poor at following up regardless - you have been warned.

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7. Can it be the Promoter - ENFP?

The Promoter is the quokka

Characteristics:
1. They do not take care of the details needed to actually create their inspirations. They come up with amazing ideas, but putting together the necessary resources and details to make those ideas a reality never seems to happen.
2. They de-prioritize self-care and tend to forget about things like hydrating, getting enough sleep or sticking to a healthy routine.
3. They overextend by saying yes to too many interesting possibilities and ignoring their own physical needs or the boundaries of their actual schedule.
4. They fail to back up their ideas against facts, reason or logic.
5. They become forgetful, scattered and unrealistic.
6. When they have assassinated your character, on a fact free basis, they will expect more favours even though they have never done one for you and the score is 1000 - 0. It's mentioned on Oxor again and again. Never do a favour for a Promoter.
7. They are the most evil of all behaviours when toxic regardless - you have been warned.

Possible Toxic Breed Exhibited (subject to continual review):
The Victim; The Fake Complainer.

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8. Can it be the Counselor - ESFP

The Counselor is the cuttlefish

Characteristics:
1. They may be overly impulsive and fail to consider the long-term consequences of their actions.
2. They may avoid people or concepts that seem overly theoretical or conceptual.
3. They might consistently put enjoyment ahead of their responsibilities and obligations.
4. They may struggle to prioritize and organize their schedule so that they can achieve the things they want.
5. They are the disorganised party animal regardless - you have been warned.

Possible Toxic Breed Exhibited (subject to continual review):
The Manipulator.

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9. Can it be the Specialist - ISFP

The Specialist is the soala

Characteristics:
1. They may avoid thinking about the long-term implications of actions or decisions.
2. They may start projects and leave them half-finished regularly because they get frustrated with the implementation process and organizing the task.
3. They cannot take criticism without getting defensive and self-righteous.
4. They may avoid people or situations that would require them to explore conceptual or theoretical topics.
5. They need supervision regardless - you have been warned.

Possible Toxic Breed Exhibited (subject to continual review):
The Victim.

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10. Can it be the Investigator - INFJ?

The Investigator is the fox

Characteristics:
1. They have amazing ideas but it is nearly impossible for them to verbalize them.
2. They dedicate their life to their vision, but fail to analyze it logically or practically. This results in ideas that never become fully realized.
3. They are so single-minded in pursuit of their vision that they forget to enjoy what life has to offer them right now.
4. They feel out of touch with the world around them and their physical body. They have patronizing or condescending thoughts towards people who value sensing - i.e. Director, Objective Thinker, Appraiser, Practitioner, Results, Achiever, Counselor and Specialist.
5. They are the best door slammer regardless - you have been warned.

Possible Toxic Breed Exhibited (subject to continual review):
The Manipulator; The Energy Drainer; The Fake Complainer.

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11. Can it be the Agent - INFP?

The Agent is the capybara

Characteristics:
1. They have incredible ideas, but when it comes to implementing them they feel lost. Rather than seek out advice or help they get stuck in inaction.
2. When someone argues with them or offers criticism, instead of listening with an open mind and looking at the logic, they double-down on their stance and only focus on their internal viewpoint.
3. They use logical fallacies on a regular basis and fail to see the inconsistencies in their arguments.
4. They struggle to prioritize routine healthy habits such as getting enough sleep, drinking enough water or sticking to a healthy exercise routine.
5. They are in La La Land regardless - you have been warned.
6. The bloggosphere rebrands the Agent as Insecure, Needy as Fcuk, a Failure, Practically dead inside.

Possible Toxic Breed Exhibited (subject to continual review):
The Victim.

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12. Can it be the Achiever - ISTP?

The Achiever is the water deer

Characteristics:
1. They inadvertently damage relationships by overlooking others’ emotional needs or values.
2. They forget to consider the wider ramifications and long-term implications of their decisions.
3. They make decisions and fail to realize how they will emotionally impact others.
4. They struggle to decide which actions will have the best long-term impact on their life.
5. They are prone to be tinkering with something mechanical regardless - you have been warned.

Possible Toxic Breed Exhibited (subject to continual review):
The Manipulator.

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13. Can it be the Practitioner - ISFJ?

The Practitioner is the red panda

Characteristics:
1. They may struggle to see the long-term implications or wider ramifications of current decisions or actions.
2. They may struggle to express their needs and desires or set up healthy boundaries as they cannot cope with dealing with conflict.
3. They may struggle to consider a decision logically when people’s emotions are involved.
4. They may struggle to understand their full potential or accept new and unusual possibilities.
5. They are the worst leaders regardless - you have been warned.

Possible Toxic Breed Exhibited (subject to continual review):
The Pessimist.

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14. Can it be the Objective Thinker - ISTJ?

The Objective Thinker is the cat

Characteristics:
1. They may devalue or dismiss the emotional concerns of other people or else fail to give acknowledgment or empathy for those emotions.
2. They may fail to see the long-term implications or wider ramifications of a current situation or decision.
3. They may automatically dismiss new ideas or possibilities because they do not match up with what they know.
4. They may consider logic so much that they ignore the impact their decisions have on other people.
5. They are considered boring by some regardless - you have been warned.

Possible Toxic Breed Exhibited (subject to continual review):
The Criticizer; The Pessimist.

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15. Can it be the Perfectionist - INTP?

The Perfectionist is the elephant shrew

Characteristics:
1. They are insensitive to other people’s emotions and personal needs.
2. They feel like everyone else is imposing on them and they fail to respect the other person's desire for connection.
3. They de-prioritize activities, perspectives or projects because they are not "logical" instead of seeing their value.
4. They chronically forget important but mundane details such as paying bills, self-care or routine doctor’s visits.
5. They are the worst customers and are most likely to be a recluse regardless - you have been warned.

Possible Toxic Breed Exhibited (subject to continual review):
The Criticizer.

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16. Can it be the Enhancer - INTJ?

The Enhancer is the cassowary

Characteristics:
1. They get so married to their ideas and patterns that they overlook details or facts that might contradict them.
2. They fail to realize the impact or significance of other people’s emotional needs.
3. They see other people as nuisances and fail to see their efforts or good qualities.
4. They fail to praise or affirm others.
4. They struggle to recognize their physical needs or the details of what is happening around them.
6. They may be (or definitely be) condescending or dismissive to people who have a preference for sensing or feeling - i.e. to all except for the Developer, Inspirational, Perfectionist and other Enhancers.
7. They are the most difficult pattern to get to know regardless - you have been warned.

Possible Toxic Breed Exhibited (subject to continual review):
The Criticizer; The Pessimist.

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