This page is useful when you have situations
whereby you observe a person saying that they are sorry way too much.

I'm sorry but I'm not really

Prerequisite: You should know your own Disc pattern.

This page may cause some distress to some viewers as it points out attributes of Aunt Gwynneth that she may neither like or agree with. But you are trying to find out her pattern and this page is yet another Oxor technique available exclusively to the cohort.

Think about this: You should not apologise when it is not your fault.

You will most likely need assistance :-) This might tell you what but it will not tell you how.

Conducted and composed by Elizabeth Hunter™ - Last Update January 17, 2021


1. Saying sorry by the Director - ESTJ

The Director is the Border Collie

The Dictator


Standard Category: CATEGORY 2. Waits for you to apologise and then holds it over your head that you said it first.

Supplementary Category: CATEGORY D - BAD BEHAVIOUR. Can get into the habit of saying sorry too much because, on occasions, their behaviour is viewed by others as being atrocious. This may be due to a violent outburst, drunkenness etc. By saying sorry, the episode is deemed to have never taken place. The victim will not share this view. The Director should own up to their own anger issues first to mend the relationship.

E. Hunter Observations of Johnny saying Sorry™ for this pattern:

"I foresee that you will want to get your own way. And others apologising first gives you the upper hand. Then you switch back and say that as you, as the supplier, have apologised means that you have taken the blame. Then you will pompously insist that the repairs are to be discounted by 50% due to the supplier's admission of fault. I tend to sent Directors to my most loathed competitor."


2. Saying sorry by the Developer - ENTJ

The Developer is the German Shepherd

The Opportunist


Standard Category: CATEGORY 2. Waits for you to apologise and then holds it over your head that you said it first.

Supplementary Category: CATEGORY D - BAD BEHAVIOUR. Can get into the habit of saying sorry too much because, on occasions, their behaviour is viewed by others as being atrocious. This may be due to a violent outburst, drunkenness etc. By saying sorry, the episode is deemed to have never taken place. The victim will not share this view. The Developer should own up to their own anger issues first to mend the relationship.

E. Hunter Observations of Johnny saying Sorry™ for this pattern:

"I foresee that you will deny touching the secretary on the titties at the Mingle Bingle. The secretary may apologise first although they are the victim, which is what you want, then the event never happened. I would watch the Developer very carefully when bad behaviour is involved. Mr. Brian Smiff™ should take heed."


3. Saying sorry by the Results - ESTP

The Results is the Jack Russell Terrier

The 'You Only Live Once' Boss


Standard Category: CATEGORY 2. Waits for you to apologise and then holds it over your head that you said it first.

Supplementary Category: CATEGORY D - BAD BEHAVIOUR. Can get into the habit of saying sorry too much because, on occasions, their behaviour is viewed by others as being atrocious. This may be due to a violent outburst, drunkenness etc. By saying sorry, the episode is deemed to have never taken place. The victim will not share this view. The Results should own up to their own anger issues first to mend the relationship.

E. Hunter Observations of Johnny saying Sorry™ for this pattern:

"I foresee that you will deny getting drunk and boisterous at the Mingle Bingle. The organiser may apologise first, which is what you want, then the event never happened."


4. Saying sorry by the Inspirational - ENTP

The Inspirational is the Bull Terrier

The professional corrector


Standard Category: CATEGORY 2. Waits for you to apologise and then holds it over your head that you said it first.

Supplementary Category: CATEGORY D - BAD BEHAVIOUR. Can get into the habit of saying sorry too much because, on occasions, their behaviour is viewed by others as being atrocious. This may be due to a violent outburst, drunkenness etc. By saying sorry, the episode is deemed to have never taken place. The victim will not share this view. The Inspirational should own up to their own anger issues first to mend the relationship.

E. Hunter Observations of Johnny saying Sorry™ for this pattern:

"I foresee that you will deny any wrong doing. It will help if the other party apologises for something that was not their fault in the first instance. Then you can get stuck into debating what the definition of 'drunk' actually is."


5. Saying sorry by the Persuader - ENFJ

The Persuader is the Boxer

The Pied Piper


Standard Category: CATEGORY 1. Apologises first but passively aggressively hints that it is really your fault.

Supplementary Category: CATEGORY A - AFRAID OF CONFRONTATION. Saying sorry is a quick and easy way to move away from an argument or situation. It placates the aggressor; a desired outcome. However, what is actually happening is that they actually accept responsibility for something they did not actually do. This is because of the Persuader's reluctance to address the issue.

E. Hunter Observations of Johnny saying Sorry™ for this pattern:

"I foresee that you will indeed apologise first as it then gives you the upper hand. You can sell ice to Eskimos and your up front apology means that a potential kerfuffle can be avoided. But you can get on your high horse when you think it is the other person's fault."


6. Saying sorry by the Appraiser - ESFJ

The Appraiser is the Great Dane

The Zach Morris


Standard Category: CATEGORY 1. Apologises first but passively aggressively hints that it is really your fault.

Supplementary Category: CATEGORY E - EASY GOING WITH NO DOMINANT EGO. The Appraiser is very sensitive about what others think about them. However, they are no so bothered by being correct. [Whatever...] What they want is an easy life but not because they are afraid of confrontation. If the situation is serious enough, the Appraiser will stand up for themselves. For silly and insignificant matters they will say sorry and just move on. Their ego is big enough to shoulder issues another person may have but that is balanced against what matters and what does not matter.

E. Hunter Observations of Johnny saying Sorry™ for this pattern:

"I foresee that you are not a serial offender in the overuse of 'sorry'. This may make your pattern easier to pick on this attribute."


7. Saying sorry by the Promoter - ENFP

The Promoter is the Golden Retriever

The First-World Saviour


Standard Category: CATEGORY 3. Acts extremely upset and sad then guilt trips into apologising first.

Supplementary Category: CATEGORY C - DOES NOT REALLY WANT TO CAUSE OFFENCE AS WANTS TO BE LIKED. Having empathy towards others is good but hiding feelings is not. Having opinions and beliefs causes the Promoter to be attracted to like minded people. They need to obtain their sense of value from within, not by trying to keep everyone happy all of the time. They need to realise that they cannot like everyone and then expect everyone to like them back.

E. Hunter Observations of Johnny saying Sorry™ for this pattern:

"I foresee that you will always carry on as the upset victim. The Promoter is always apologising as they are so disorganised, yet want to be liked. The trouble will start when you are held to account."


8. Saying sorry by the Counselor - ESFP

The Counselor is the Poodle

The Flibbertigibbet


Standard Category: CATEGORY 3. Acts extremely upset and sad then guilt trips into apologising first.

Supplementary Category: CATEGORY C - DOES NOT REALLY WANT TO CAUSE OFFENCE AS WANTS TO BE LIKED. Having empathy towards others is good but hiding feelings is not. Having opinions and beliefs causes the Counselor to be attracted to like minded people. They need to obtain their sense of value from within, not by trying to keep everyone happy all of the time. They need to realise that they cannot like everyone and then expect everyone to like them back.

E. Hunter Observations of Johnny saying Sorry™ for this pattern:

"I foresee that you will always carry on as the victim. The Counselor is always apologising as they are often so over the top."


9. Saying sorry by the Specialist - ISFP

The Specialist is the Saint Bernard

The Esoteric Artist


Standard Category: CATEGORY 3. Acts extremely upset and sad then guilt trips into apologising first.

Supplementary Category: CATEGORY C - DOES NOT REALLY WANT TO CAUSE OFFENCE AS WANTS TO BE LIKED. Having empathy towards others is good but hiding feelings is not. Having opinions and beliefs causes the Specialist to be attracted to like minded people. They need to obtain their sense of value from within, not by trying to keep everyone happy all of the time. They need to realise that they cannot like everyone and then expect everyone to like them back.

E. Hunter Observations of Johnny saying Sorry™ for this pattern:

"I foresee that you will always carry on as the victim. You will often get in a tizz."


10. Saying sorry by the Investigator - INFJ

The Investigator is the Greyhound

The Unicorn


Standard Category: CATEGORY 1. Apologises first but passively aggressively hints that it is really your fault.

Supplementary Category: CATEGORY A - AFRAID OF CONFRONTATION. Saying sorry is a quick and easy way to move away from an argument or situation. It placates the aggressor; a desired outcome. However, what is actually happening is that they actually accept responsibility for something they did not actually do. This is because of the Investigator's reluctance to address the issue.

E. Hunter Observations of Johnny saying Sorry™ for this pattern:

"I foresee that you will not apologise all that often. If you are preparing to door slam someone, then it plays into your hands to apologise first before you twist the knife."


11. Saying sorry by the Agent - INFP

The Agent is the Tibetan Terrier

The Sensitive Druid


Standard Category: CATEGORY 3. Acts extremely upset and sad then guilt trips into apologising first.

Supplementary Category: CATEGORY C - DOES NOT REALLY WANT TO CAUSE OFFENCE AS WANTS TO BE LIKED. Having empathy towards others is good but hiding feelings is not. Having opinions and beliefs causes the Specialist to be attracted to like minded people. They need to obtain their sense of value from within, not by trying to keep everyone happy all of the time. They need to realise that they cannot like everyone and then expect everyone to like them back.

E. Hunter Observations of Johnny saying Sorry™ for this pattern:

"I foresee that you will always be upset about something as you are permanently miserable. You are the one who complains of aircraft noise when it was you who agreed to buy the house under the flight path. Your greetings often start with "Not happy" ahead of "Hello".


12. Saying sorry by the Achiever - ISTP

The Achiever is the Bassett Hound

The Mysterious Commitment-Phobe


Standard Category: CATEGORY 4. Is completely oblivious to the fact that you are waiting for them to apologise.

Supplementary Category: CATEGORY B - LACKS CONFIDENCE TO STAND UP FOR SELF. Sometimes the Achiever will apologise instead of adding their point of view. This is due to a lack of faith in their abilities. This may be due to treatment as a child if they 'were not good enough' or continually punished for mistakes. Their tendency is to assume that they are in the wrong, which may well not be the case, meaning effectively that the other person is correct. It is the Achiever making an incorrect assumption.

E. Hunter Observations of Johnny saying Sorry™ for this pattern:

"I foresee that you are more likely not to see that an apology is worth waiting for from another person, particularly if that person is at fault, in your view. You can stand up for yourself very well at times but that tendency may well be due to a specific style of upbringing."


13. Saying sorry by the Practitioner - ISFJ

The Practitioner is the Alaskan Malamute

The Martyr


Standard Category: CATEGORY 1. Apologises first but passively aggressively hints that it is really your fault.

Supplementary Category: CATEGORY A - AFRAID OF CONFRONTATION. Saying sorry is a quick and easy way to move away from an argument or situation. It placates the aggressor; a desired outcome. However, what is actually happening is that they actually accept responsibility for something they did not actually do. This is because of the Practitioner's reluctance to address the issue.

E. Hunter Observations of Johnny saying Sorry™ for this pattern:

"I foresee that you will continue to polish your reputation as being passive-aggressive. Should you be remiss in not inviting someone to a restaurant you will apologise first, despite it being your fault in not issuing invitations for whatever reason (I could not get through on your mobile). So the issue is swept under the carpet, as per usual."


"You wouldn’t worry so much what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do."

Eleanor Roosevelt, US political figure, diplomat and activist. (Investigator)

14. Saying sorry by the Objective Thinker - ISTJ?

The Objective Thinker is the Bernese Mountain Dog

The Square


Standard Category: CATEGORY 1. Apologises first but passively aggressively hints that it is really your fault.

Supplementary Category: CATEGORY A - AFRAID OF CONFRONTATION. Saying sorry is a quick and easy way to move away from an argument or situation. It placates the aggressor; a desired outcome. However, what is actually happening is that they actually accept responsibility for something they did not actually do. This is because of the Objective Thinker's reluctance to address the issue.

E. Hunter Observations of Johnny saying Sorry™ for this pattern:

"I foresee that you may well apologise first but if the fault lies with the other party, you will have no issue in trotting out the facts if you have them."


15. Saying sorry by the Perfectionist - INTP

The Perfectionist is the Papillon

The Data Junkie


Standard Category: CATEGORY 4. Is completely oblivious to the fact that you are waiting for them to apologise.

Supplementary Category: CATEGORY B - LACKS CONFIDENCE TO STAND UP FOR SELF. Sometimes the Perfectionist will apologise instead of adding their point of view. This is due to a lack of faith in their abilities. This may be due to treatment as a child if they 'were not good enough' or continually punished for mistakes. Their tendency is to assume that they are in the wrong, which may well not be the case, meaning effectively that the other person is correct. It is the Perfectionist making an incorrect assumption.

E. Hunter Observations of Johnny saying Sorry™ for this pattern:

"I foresee that you see will never see that others are waiting for an apology from you. This is because you are armed with facts. But the intensity will depend on your upbringing."


16. Saying sorry by the Enhancer - INTJ?

The Enhancer is the Afghan Hound

The Nerd Emperor


Standard Category: CATEGORY 4. Is completely oblivious to the fact that you are waiting for them to apologise.

Supplementary Category: CATEGORY B - LACKS CONFIDENCE TO STAND UP FOR SELF. Sometimes the Enhancer will apologise instead of adding their point of view. This is due to a lack of faith in their abilities. This may be due to treatment as a child if they 'were not good enough' or continually punished for mistakes. Their tendency is to assume that they are in the wrong, which may well not be the case, meaning effectively that the other person is correct. It is the Enhancer making an incorrect assumption.

E. Hunter Observations of Johnny saying Sorry™ for this pattern:

"I foresee that you could not care one iota whether someone wants to offer you an apology. The lack of confidence will be evident if you were brought up in a environment of: "The answer is no, now what was your question?" But, if that is overcome, you will have the 'courage of your convictions' and waiting for any apology is not on the radar. You can appear unoffendable at times. If others do apologise, you will, in likelihood, brand the apology as insincere and file it in the WBP or the delete folder, to err into more modern nomenclature."