Situation - You are observing when someone is being STUBBORN
When someone is being Stubborn
it
can make it easy for you to pick their pattern
Observing people when they are stubborn can be handy when picking someone's pattern prior to imposing correctly.
You will most likely need assistance :-) This might tell you what but it will not tell you how.
Here are all sixteen patterns, all in stubborn mode - you will be here, too!
The definition of stubborn is a fixed and unyielding in course or purpose that implies sturdiness in resisting change which may or may not be admirable.
"Smallness of mind is the cause of stubbornness and we do not credit readily what is beyond our view." Francois de la Rochefoucauld
1. Can it be the Director - ESTJ?
General: Gets stubborn about plans, decisions and strategies. Wants people to be proactive and productive. Will resist people who slow things down, procrastinate or keep bringing up alternatives rather than moving forward.
Dialogue: The Director is pragmatic, action-oriented and determined. They thrive when they are productive and focussed on their goals. These types like to keep busy with their objectives because they feel that through hard-work and achievement they can best take care of their communities or families. Because the Director values hard-work and productivity to such a high degree they can be very stubborn about their decisions and plans. They do not like dilly-dallying around or wasting time, so if they have come up with a plan that seems effective they want to move forward quickly. People who procrastinate, offer a lot of alternatives or cannot make up their mind tend to get on their nerves during times like this.
During extreme stress, the Director can become more emotionally sensitive than usual. This can appear like a focus on a cause or moral righteousness. They might become more stubborn than usual about what is right, ethical or good and try to impose their beliefs on other people. If others do not get on board they can feel attacked, isolated and victimized. This feeling tends to dissipate quickly once their stress becomes more manageable.
2. Can it be the Developer - ENTJ?
General: Gets stubborn about plans, decisions and strategies. Wants people to be proactive and productive. Will resist people who slow things down, procrastinate or keep bringing up alternatives rather than moving forward.
Dialogue: The Developer is decisive, hard-working and visionary. They are often movers and shakers in the business world, strategically maneuvering their careers to the top of the corporate ladder. While their skills can definitely be an advantage, they can also have some unintended negatives. The Developer can be so sure of their logic and rationale for making a decision that they shut out opposing views or appear condescending to people bringing up the reasons and justification as to whether a decision or proposal may or may not work. If they develop a plan it can be difficult for them to change course, especially if they are at an average or unhealthy level of maturity. They might insist on people “getting over” their feelings or make comments about their feelings being irrelevant. They can also become rigid in their thinking, stubbornly adhering to models and principles they have adopted.
During stress, the Developer can also become more stubborn about what they perceive as right or wrong. They may become very black-and-white about what is good or bad and develop a self-righteous demeanor. Anyone who is not on their side is “bad” and they can develop a martyr complex if they do not feel like anyone supports their values. These feelings tend to dissipate as their stress levels go down.
3. Can it be the Results - ESTP?
General: Gets stubborn about abilities and instincts. Wants to act on impulse and pursue adventure. Will resist people who tie them down or control them. Stubborn in the pursuit of excitement and action.
Dialogue: The Results is daring, resourceful and pragmatic. They are quick to respond to emergency scenarios and enjoy situations that make them think on their feet. Their ability to improvise and trust their instincts can be a huge benefit. That said, sometimes they trust their instincts too quickly and can be reckless and stubborn about their abilities. They can cling to the idea that they are indestructible and “leap before they look” much to the dismay of people who have asked them to take caution. They can be stubbornly daring, throwing caution to the wind and implying that the more careful path is for "sissies".
During stress, the Results can become stubborn about what they see as a dismal future. Especially during chronic or extreme stress, they can become uncharacteristically withdrawn, introspective and focussed on forecasting the future. They can be very sure about “inevitable” catastrophe during these times.
4. Can it be the Inspirational - ENTP?
General: May stubbornly persist when changing things, innovating and extrapolating possibilities. Will experiment and try doing things in new ways and will resist rules or doing things by the book.
Dialogue: The Inspirational enjoys brainstorming, debating and extrapolating alternatives and hypothetical possibilities. They consider themselves open-minded but also rational. While their gifts are able to make them innovative inventors, philosophers and teachers they can also get them into trouble at times. They can become so focussed on challenging the status quo or playing devil’s advocate that they bend logic to fit their agenda or to "win" the argument. They can also become so locked on doing things in new ways that they "reinvent the wheel" and waste time on needless innovation
During stress, the Inspirational can become rigid about adhering to certain principles and models without being as flexible as usual. During these times they will seem more critical, sharp-tongued and harsh. They can also develop tunnel-vision about how things should be done, getting lost in details or over-preparation.
5. Can it be the Persuader - ENFJ?
General: Gets stubborn when people are being selfish at the expense of others. Resistant to conflict or people who are exerting their individual needs at the expense of the group. Can stubbornly insist that the best way is the way that helps everyone even when it is not possible.
Dialogue: The Persuader is extremely observant of people and their needs, emotions, values and desires. They thrive on honest, expressive communication and enjoy getting people to open up to them and share their lives with them. They enjoy listening, counselling, advising and comforting. While this can be a good quality, it can be misinterpreted or taken too far. Some people can find the Persuader's concern overbearing or meddling or interfering. The Persuader can also become very sure of someone’s potential, their path or how they should handle relationships and decisions. Because they tend to trust their insights and instincts about people they can be very stubborn about what they think a group should do or not do or what values people should or should not support. This can seem pushy, especially to more individualistic types, especially the OT and Enhancer.
During stress, the Persuader wants to have a sense of control and a clear path for themselves. They may become pushy about decisions without fully processing all their reasons for doing so. They can get caught up in analyzing their intuitive insights, but forget to process the concrete facts and details. e.g. They might decide that a company should take part in a conference without realising that the budget and resources are not readily available.
6. Can it be the Appraiser - ESFJ
General: Gets stubborn when people are being selfish at the expense of others. Resistant to conflict or people who are exerting their individual needs at the expense of the group. Can stubbornly insist that the best way is the way that helps everyone even when it is not possible.
Dialogue: The Appraiser is friendly and community-minded and believes in caring for others and organizing a better world. They are highly attuned to other people’s needs and pay attention to the little details that bring people joy. They feel best when their surroundings are harmonious and there is a sense of teamwork. They can be so anxious for everyone to get along that they stubbornly try to “fix” everyone’s feelings. Emotionally unhealthy Appraisers get annoyed at people who are causing disruption, even if that disruption is a good thing. Healthy Appraisers realize that sometimes conflict is a good thing and will try to create an atmosphere where everyone is able to openly express their emotions.
The Appraiser can also appear stubborn when it comes to their values and beliefs. The morals of the Appraiser are usually very important to them and they can be very outspoken in defence of them. When they are crusading for a cause they may appear “preachy” in their efforts to get other people on board.
During stress, the Appraiser tends to trust their experience and past impressions the most. They may stubbornly insist on their way and shut down alternatives or innovative methods. During these times they are more fixated on their routine and are afraid to venture out of their comfort zone.
7. Can it be the Promoter - ENFP?
General: May stubbornly persist when changing things, innovating and extrapolating possibilities. Will experiment and try doing things in new ways and will resist rules or doing things by the book.
Dialogue: The Promoter has a unique ability to interpret relationships across contexts. They can experience two disparate situations and find something that ties them both together. They can also infer meaning and connections that are not directly stated. This "reading-between-the-lines" ability can make them insightful and creative, but it can also trip them up. They can become very stubborn about their interpretations of what is going on around them. e.g. They might think they have read someone’s mind and move forward based on their inference rather than checking to see if their interpretation is actually accurate. This is being "fact free". Or they might be insistent on innovating or changing something that is working perfectly fine as it is just because change is so compelling to them.
The Promoter is very individualistic who enjoys going after their dreams, ideals, values and desires. While this is a good thing, it can also become an inflated preference. They can be resistant to being influenced by anyone else, which can make them self-absorbed and dismissive. This is typically more prevalent among young or immature Promoters. If they grow and mature, they become more patient, inclusive and aware of other people’s desires.
During times of stress, the Promoter can fall into the trap of evaluating everything as either completely good or completely bad. They might dig their heels in on certain beliefs and values and refuse to hear other people’s opinions. They may appear self-righteous, toxic or uncharacteristically cautious and single-minded.
8. Can it be the Counselor - ESFP
General: Gets stubborn about abilities and instincts. Wants to act on impulse and pursue adventure. Will resist people who tie them down or control them. Stubborn in the pursuit of excitement and action.
Dialogue: The Counselor is enthusiastic, practical and action-oriented. They yearn for a life full of variety and adventure and detest being sedentary or bored. Their impulsiveness and bravery can be a good thing, but it can also go too far. They can become stubborn about their actions, giving the impression that they are “immune to danger” and that they are realistic enough to handle the risks. People who caution them to slow down or check in with their values can seem stifling to the Counselor and they can dig their heels in even more. They can also seem stubborn about facts and perceptions; prizing realistic facts and data over anything theoretical. People who bring up far-reaching theories or symbolism may be dismissed, because the Counselor might think these things are too superstitious or unrealistic.
During stress, the Counselor can become uncharacteristically introspective and gloomy. They might become stubborn about the future and all the terrible things they see happening then. Usually energetic and optimistic, during these times they seem pessimistic and visionary in a depressing way.
9. Can it be the Specialist - ISFP
General: Gets stubborn about their values and what they personally feel is right or wrong. Resistant to going along with things for the sake of the group or sacrificing their individuality for group values.
Dialogue: The Specialist is guided by their personal values and strives to live in accordance with their unique sense of purpose. They want to practically help people and the causes that they believe in. It is important for them to make a tangible improvement in the world. Where the Specialist can be stubborn is in the values that they hold dear. They tend to dig in their heels in support of their cause or ideal and can see people who oppose their views as “wrong” or “bad.” They can become very reactionary about what they perceive as wrong in the world and misjudge others as being apathetic.
During stress, the Specialist can become uncharacteristically focussed on order and logic. They can be more insensitive to other people and develop a hard, rational look at things in the world. Focussed on productivity and getting things done, they will have less patience than usual for people’s feelings. They can become too wedded to their logic and become incapable of having a reasonable dialog with others.
10. Can it be the Investigator - INFJ?
General: Gets stubborn about insights and predictions. Does not want anyone derailing them from their path and purpose in life. Can also become stubborn about underlying meanings and inferences they have picked up on and insist on their accuracy.
Dialogue: The Investigator is perceptive and insightful, focussing on the long-range implications of everything that happens around them. More concerned with the future than the present, they aim to foresee what will happen and how to influence the future in a positive way. While their foresight can be uncannily accurate, it is important for them to take facts and concrete details into consideration. This is the hazy blur between facts and beliefs. The Investigator can become very stubborn about their perceptions and visions, insisting that the future they see WILL happen. They can develop plans that they believe in with 100% dedication. If anyone contradicts their plans they can become the opposition or else withdraw and carry out their plan anyway; under-the-radar. Once their mind is made up on something, it can be nigh on impossible to change even with supporting facts.
During stress, the Investigator can become over-accommodating to other people and overwhelmed by the needs and emotions of others. They feel that in order to process their insights, the world around them must be in complete harmony. They can become co-dependent, obsessed with meeting others’ needs, emotionally frustrated and tactless. Their need to “make things right” for people can appear overbearing especially when there is no problem from the other person's perspective. Their insistence on fixing things can border on stubborn.
11. Can it be the Agent - INFP?
General: Gets stubborn about their values and what they personally feel is right or wrong. Resistant to going along with things for the sake of the group or sacrificing their individuality for group values.
Dialogue: The Agent is sincere and dedicated who holds firmly to their causes and values. They spend their lives considering matters of worth, good and evil and importance. What is life really all about? Who says what’s right and wrong and what is really true? What’s right to them? When an Agent settles on their values and causes, they do so with loyalty and steadfast conviction. While this can be a good thing, it can also cause problems if over-done. They can rigidly adhere to their beliefs and desires, becoming reactionary to things they categorise as wrong or evil. They can hold people up to standards that are unrealistic and then become disappointed when those people inevitably fail. When people argue about values and ethics they can become self-righteous and hurt rather than openly giving the other party a chance to express themselves. If they grow and mature they become more open to these types of discussions.
During stress, the Agent can become overly fixated on the accuracy of their inferences and ideas without taking the time to test their ideas in the real world. The result is that they can become fact free "armchair experts" based on hypothesis rather than real-world experience. During extreme stress they can be more critical, dogmatic and argumentative than normal – too fixated on their logic to have a productive and rational dialog with others.
12. Can it be the Achiever - ISTP?
General: Gets stubborn about the truth. Their deep search for consistency and accuracy means that their principles are tightly held. They resist people rushing them with their analysis or dismissing facts without giving them time to see where they fit in their mental framework.
Dialogue: The Achiever is realistic and rational and prides themselves on trusting facts and thinking things through. Where they can be stubborn is with their insistence on pure accuracy. They can be very sure of their logic – shutting out ideas, values or opinions that do not fit in with their mental model of how things work. They can also be stubborn about analyzing a situation in-depth before taking action. While they think quickly in crisis situations, they tend to take their time on long-term decisions. They want to absorb all the facts and reflect on all the details and logic before getting stuck in a decision they might later regret. During these times they can appear hesitant and resistant to people waiting on their answer.
During stress, the Achiever can become stubborn about how things are organised in their environment. They can be very particular about cleanliness or how their desk is organised and can get annoyed with people who impede on their space.
13. Can it be the Practitioner - ISFJ?
General: Gets stubborn about their routine, methods or traditions. They trust their experiences to such a degree that they can get flustered when people suggest alternatives that go against their established way of doing things.
Dialogue: The Practitioner is empathetic, detail-oriented and grounded. They are a stabilizing force in a chaotic world. They care deeply for people and try to show their devotion through attending to the details that make life meaningful or more comfortable. These types can appear stubborn when it comes to their methods. They like using familiar approaches when it comes to problem-solving and planning. They trust mentors and tried-and-true practices and techniques. They may insist that the way it has always been done is the best way and can be suspicious of change, theories or hypothetical alternatives
During stress the Practitioner can be especially resistant to change. They might feel overwhelmed by details and negative possibilities and try to avoid risk and conflict at all costs. To others, it can seem like they are stubbornly clinging to their routines and hiding themselves away.
14. Can it be the Objective Thinker - ISTJ?
General: Gets stubborn about their routine, methods or traditions. They trust their experiences to such a degree that they can get flustered when people suggest alternatives that go against their established way of doing things.
Dialogue: The OT is resourceful and down-to-earth. People value the OT because they always have a plan and they stick to their guns on things. They believe in being honest and hard-working because they feel a strong sense of responsibility for the people they love or to the commitments they have made. Because stability is so important they can seem stubborn about their routines and methods. They like working with what they know and they are skeptical of new alternatives unless they have strong logical reasons to try them out.
During stress, the OT tends to be especially resistant to change. They will become more isolative and obsessed with getting the facts straight. During times like this they tend to feel overwhelmed and flustered. To others it might seem like they are clinging to their routines and habits and are increasingly averse to change. This feeling tends to dissipate as their stress level decreases.
15. Can it be the Perfectionist - INTP?
General: Gets stubborn about the truth. Their deep search for consistency and accuracy means that their principles are tightly held. They resist people rushing them with their analysis or dismissing facts without giving them time to see where they fit in their mental framework.
Dialogue: The Perfectionist likes to have a thorough understanding of something before they move forward on a decision. They like to look at all the facts, consider all the angles and weigh leverage points and pros and cons. This can be a good thing because they usually are not impulsive or reckless. But it can also make them appear stubborn to more quickly-decisive types. They can insist on taking their time, delaying deadlines or putting off decisions until they feel they have satisfied their curiosity and need for knowledge. They also have very precise inner models and principles and are very insistent about the accuracy of what they believe. More unhealthy Perfectionists can shut out any information that does not fit with their model of how things work. They may also "bend" facts to fit with their principles.
During stress, the Perfectionist can become too convinced of the efficacy of their ideas without trying them out in the real world. They might get lost in hypothesising and become "armchair experts" on a subject without putting their ideas to the test with practical application. They can be very stubborn about their inferences and ideas and shut out opposing views.
16. Can it be the Enhancer - INTJ?
General: Gets stubborn about insights and predictions. Does not want anyone derailing them from their path and purpose in life. Can also become stubborn about underlying meanings and inferences they have picked up on and insist on their accuracy.
Dialogue: The Enhancer is visionary and strategic and aimed at uncovering patterns and themes that will impact the future. They enjoy studying philosophies, contemplating life’s mysteries and planning out pathways towards progress. These types are often at the front line of research and technological progress. While their insights can be valuable and revolutionary, they can also become very stubborn about them. When people question their predictions they can become condescending and impatient in their responses, especially if the other side ignores unambiguous facts. If they do not balance their views with real-world experience and facts they can develop one-sided, mystical ideas that lack factual basis. At an extremely unhealthy level, they can become fixated on complex ideas and lose sight of "common sense".
During stress, the Enhancer can become rigid with their logic and sense of order. They might insist on their environment being organised a certain way or become hyper-focused on cleanliness and organisation.