I lecture rather than listen - always. I am a narcissist, a non critic and am not passive-aggressive.

I am confident and assertive and I assume that I always have all the answers. My ‘my way or the highway’ approach comes across as lecturing and often does not sit well with others. I value efficiency and effectiveness but I neglect opinions and feelings. I am a know-it-all and I think that I know everything. I feel superior, am dismissive of others’ opinions, am unwilling to listen to others and love to tell others how to do their job. I like to hear myself talk. This behaviour is so ingrained that it becomes part of my personality. I know that I am loathed and I do not care.

I should, but do not, take time to slow down and listen and really process information before jumping into “command mode.” I should, but do not, ask questions to fully understand the other person’s perspective before giving advice. I should, but do not, practice active listening techniques to ensure I am really hearing others. I should, but do not, be aware that leadership also involves encouragement and collaboration, not just direction. You should engage in empathetic confrontation (for my narcissism).

Worse is Me™ - do you agree that this is me?

1. The Director - ESTJ

Go to their pattern

I ignore the feelings of others - always. I am a narcissist, a critic and am not passive-aggressive.

I am assertive, goal-oriented and rational, but at the expense of my emotional well-being. Feelings are sidelined until they cannot be ignored any longer, often resulting in a 'loss explosion' that startles everyone including me. I confirm my bully boy reputation.

I should, but do not, take time to understand and address issues and feelings rather than objectifying them and sweeping them under the carpet. My method is the equivalent of addressing the problem of a roof leak by asking a meeting attendee to move their chair. It is called 'Normalization of Deviance'. I should, but do not, schedule regular self-check-ins to write down or process my feelings. I should, but do not, experiment with expressive outlets such as journaling, music or art to process emotions. I should, but do not, remind myself that when I am angry I am are more likely to be overly-convinced in my 'rightness'. I should, but do not, try to get some time alone to breathe deeply, punch a pillow or otherwise let off some steam without damaging an important relationship when I feel a 'loss explosion' coming on. You should engage in empathetic confrontation (for my narcissism). You should set healthy limits (for me as a critic).

Worse is Me™ - do you agree that this is me?

2. The Developer - ENTJ

Go to their pattern

I chase temporary thrills - always. I am a narcissist, a critic and am not passive-aggressive.

I am adventurous and love to chase new experiences. But sometimes this chase ignores the potential consequences for myself and others. Fun can start to take priority over meaningful responsibilities or activities. And it is easy for me to rationalize my actions with "I will deal with it later". I know that I like extreme risks.

I should, but do not, take a step back and evaluate the bigger picture which could prevent unnecessary consequences. I should, but do not, eeflect on past experiences where chasing temporary thrills led to negative outcomes. I should, but do not, reflect on what long-term satisfaction looks like for myself and set goals to align with that vision. I should, but do not, practice delayed gratification by resisting impulsive decisions in favour of more impactful ones. I should, but do not, seek out mentors or advice from those who have successfully navigated the pursuit of lasting achievements. You should engage in empathetic confrontation (for my narcissism). You should set healthy limits (for me as a critic).

Worse is Me™ - do you agree that this is me?

3. The Results - ESTP

Go to their pattern

I rationalize argumentative and manipulative behaviour - always. I can be a narcissist, a critic and am not passive-aggressive.

I am so clever and adept at understanding others which translates into argumentative and manipulative behaviour which I leave unchecked. I play the victim to get what I want and I do this by actively manipulating others by attention-seeking, inflicting blame and guilt and evading accountability. I rationalize my actions as simply 'outsmarting' others to get what I want. But ultimately, this kind of rationalizing can lead to damaged relationships and pain later on. I think that a clarification is not to make things clear but to put myself in the clear. I know that I am sneaky and Machiavellian. I am not the paragon of virtues.

I should, but do not, focus on using my intelligence to be ruthless with logic; even against myself. I should, but do not, reflect on the consequences of my manipulative actions and commit to ethical persuasion. I should, but do not, practice being radically honest with myself and others rather than playing off other people’s feelings or my perceptions of their weaknesses. I should, but do not, tap into my Introverted Thinking side to debate my own logic when I find myself trying to manipulate a situation. You should engage in empathetic confrontation (for my narcissism). You should set healthy limits (for me as a critic).

Worse is Me™ - do you agree that this is me?

4. The Inspirational - ENTP

Go to their pattern

I forget myself - always. I am a narcissist, a critic and am not passive-aggressive.

My ability to connect with others is a superpower when I use it correctly. But I get lost in my vision of how things should be. I become everyone else’s personal life coach and forget to tap into what I personally need or want. I play the victim to get what I want and I do this by actively manipulating others by attention-seeking, inflicting blame and guilt and evading accountability. I am the consummate and best master manipulator and liar.

I should, but do not, set boundaries and stick to them, making time for me even when it feels selfish. I should, but do not, check in with my inner dialogue regularly – am I constantly thinking about others’ needs without considering my own? I should, but do not, establish boundaries to ensure that I do not overextend myself. I should, but do not, set aside time daily for activities that focus solely on my wellbeing. I should, but do not, start a personal project or hobby where the focus is on my growth and happiness. You should engage in empathetic confrontation (for my narcissism). You should set healthy limits (for me as a critic).

Worse is Me™ - do you agree that this is me?

5. The Persuader - ENFJ

Go to their pattern

I succumb to gossip - always. I am not a narcissist, am a critic and am not passive-aggressive.

I am the social butterfly but my love for conversation and connection can sometimes veer into the realm of gossip. I love the sense of camaraderie and kinship that comes with sharing a juicy bit of news. But the long-term effects can be devastating. I am light outside and dark inside.

I should, but do not, focus on building genuine connections through positive conversations and uplifting actions. I should, but do not, challenge myself to avoid discussions that involve speculating about others. I should, but do not, redirect conversations that turn gossipy towards into more positive topics. I should, but do not, practice empathy by considering how I would feel in the other person’s shoes. You should set healthy limits (for me as a critic).

Worse is Me™ - do you agree that this is me?

6. The Appraiser - ESFJ

Go to their pattern

I flake on commitments - always. I am a narcissist, am a critic and am not passive-aggressive.

I am chock full of enthusiasm, but my free spirits struggles with sticking to commitments. I dismiss irresponsible behaviour as ‘just the way I am.’ But there are so many Promoters who have been able to accomplish staggering feats of patience because they stuck with their convictions even when it was difficult. I am totally unreliable.

I should, but do not, allow my energy and my eye for possibilities to be harnessed when I tap into my sense of right, wrong and my long-term values. I should, but do not, keep a planner to track promises and deadlines and hold myself accountable. I should, but do not, learn to say no if I am unsure that I can follow through with a commitment. I should, but do not, take time every day to tap into my values and the things that really matter to me in the long run. I should, but do not, prune away obligations that are veering meself away from my values and hold myself strongly to the commitments I know in my heart are meaningful and align with the kind person I want to be. You should engage in empathetic confrontation (for my narcissism). You should set healthy limits (for me as a critic).

Worse is Me™ - do you agree that this is me?

7. The Promoter - ENFP

Go to their pattern

I seek quick fixes - always. I am a narcissist, not a critic and am not passive-aggressive.

I am active and fun-loving and I tend to live a life that is always in motion. But I look for shortcuts rather than putting in a sustained effort. This can result in work that I am not truly proud of or decisions that I later regret. This can manifest itself in spending all my money on impromptu vacations rather than having a 'safety savings fund' and then disaster strikes later. I want all the attention focussed on me.

I should, but do not, practice setting and achieving small goals before moving onto larger ones. I should, but do not, take the time to research options and weigh the pros and cons before making a decision. I should, but do not, surround myself with people who value hard work and dedication as their influence can help balance out my impulsive tendencies. You should engage in empathetic confrontation (for my narcissism).

Worse is Me™ - do you agree that this is me?

8. The Counselor - ESFP

Go to their pattern

I procrastinate about my dreams - always. I am a narcissist, am not a critic and am passive-aggressive.

I am creative and dream big but procrastinate just as big. Distractions can take centre stage, leaving passions and projects gathering dust. I do have the power to match my imagination with action – I need to be pushed and I do not do that. My avoidance comes from fear of failure or criticism, but I should really dust off those dreams and make them a reality. I am the arty farty one.

I should, but do not, break my dreams down into actionable steps and set deadlines for each. I should, but do not, limit my exposure to known distractions by using apps to monitor and minimize usage. I should, but do not, find an accountability partner to encourage progress with my creative endeavours. You should engage in empathetic confrontation (for my narcissism). You should start with honesty (as being passive-aggressive means avoiding taking responsibility).

Worse is Me™ - do you agree that this is me?

9. The Specialist - ISFP

Go to their pattern

I do not live in the moment - always. I am a narcissist, am not a critic and am not passive-aggressive.

I have a rich inner life and have a forward-thinking outlook, I can often find myself disconnected from the present. Dreaming big is important, but not when it constantly pulls me away from the here and now. Sometimes stopping and smelling the roses actually matters. I might not feel like it, but I only have one life to live and I should not spend it all dreaming about the next chapter. I have brooding dark thoughts.

I should, but do not, try daily mindfulness exercises to anchor me to the present. I should, but do not, create a gratitude journal to appreciate small, daily experiences. I should, but do not, challenge myself to go on technology-free walks, just observing and connecting. You should engage in empathetic confrontation (for my narcissism).

Worse is Me™ - do you agree that this is me?

10. The Investigator - INFJ

Go to their pattern

I never put any action behind my dreams - always. I am not a narcissist, am a critic and am passive-aggressive.

I have a deep well of creativity and imagination and often dream of possibilities that others dismiss as 'fanciful'. However, turning those dreams into reality can sometimes feel impossible. Formulating a plan and sticking with it rather than just thinking about it can be overwhelming. I feel paralyzed and my brilliant ideas never see the light of day. The world needs my unique ideas which remain just that. I do a lot of talking backed up with very little action.

I should, but do not, start by identifying one small, achievable goal that moves me closer to my dream. This could be as simple as writing for 15 minutes a day or sketching one new idea. I should, but do not, share my dreams with a trusted friend or mentor who can offer support and accountability. I should, but do not, reflect on the satisfaction of creating something true to myself, instead of focussing solely on the end result which is never implemented. You should set healthy limits (for me as a critic). You should start with honesty (as being passive-aggressive means avoiding taking responsibility).

Worse is Me™ - do you agree that this is me?

11. The Agent - INFP

Go to their pattern

I neglect emotional investment in relationships - always. I am not a narcissist, am a critic and am not passive-aggressive.

I am pragmatic and free-spirited, but I can inadvertently neglect the emotional investment required to strengthen bonds with loved ones. I underestimate just how much I mean to others or assume that others may not even like me. Over time this can lead to relationships dwindling via neglect or family members feeling that I simply do not care about them. My enjoyment of fast cars, expensive meals and exotic getaways are not everyone's cup of tea. I can become unhinged and unpredictable.

I should, but do not, make a conscious effort to express appreciation and affection to those whom I care about. I never send a “Thinking of you! Hope you are well” text to someone I love each day. I should, but do not, engage in deep conversations periodically to show I am invested in a relationship. I should, but do not, set reminders to check in with friends or loved ones to show that I am thinking about them. You should set healthy limits (for me as a critic).

Worse is Me™ - do you agree that this is me?

12. The Achiever - ISTP

Go to their pattern

I avoid new experiences - always. I am not a narcissist, am not a critic and am very passive-aggressive.

My comfort zones are cozy – too cozy sometimes. My reluctance to step outside the familiar can keep me tethered, never discovering joys beyond my horizon. I struggle to grasp my own potential. I get so wrapped up in the details of their lives and only trusting what they have already accomplished, that I never try new things that could harness the huge potential I possess. I am totally spineless and useless at leading or managing.

I should, but do not, commit to one new experience each month, no matter how small. I should, but do not, write down my apprehensions and the actual outcomes after trying something new. I should, but do not, reach out to a more adventurous friend to join you in my exploits. You should start with honesty (as being passive-aggressive means avoiding taking responsibility).

Worse is Me™ - do you agree that this is me?

13. The Practitioner - ISFJ

Go to their pattern

I resist change - always. I am not a narcissist, am a critic and am not passive-aggressive.

I pride myself on my common sense, practicality and love for the tried and tested. I dismiss new ideas or unconventional possibilities without giving them a fair chance. I shake my head with eyebrows raised and am suspicious of anything that is a departure of what I know. My stoic resistance to change not only limits me but can also be frustrating for those around them looking to broaden their horizons. I avoid situations where fake people tend to operate.

I should, but do not, be consciously open to new ideas and experiences, just a little each day. I should, but do not, experiment in low-stakes situations to experience the benefit of adaptability. I should, but do not, collaborate with someone who favours out-of-the-box thinking and reflect on the outcomes. You should set healthy limits (for me as a critic).

Worse is Me™ - do you agree that this is me?

14. The Objective Thinker - ISTJ

Go to their pattern

I doubt my worth - always. I am a narcissist, am not a critic and am passive-aggressive.

I am inventive and analytical, but a nagging inner voice can sometimes convince me that I am neither liked nor needed. I struggle to maintain relationships because I underestimate how much I mean to other people. I do not check in, make phone calls or plan outings to deepen or maintain existing relationships. This can result in failed relationships that could have thrived had they been given just a little more tender loving care. I just question others and go back to my research.

I should, but do not, keep a compliments log to remind myself of my impact on others. I should, but do not, reach out for feedback on projects or ideas to see my value reflected through others. I should, but do not, engage in community or group activities that interest me (book clubs, game clubs, community outreach etc..) I should, but do not, resist the urge to interpret minor things (body language, eye contact) as signs others do not like me. I should, but do not, learn how to work the microwave oven. You should engage in empathetic confrontation (for my narcissism). You should start with honesty (as being passive-aggressive means avoiding taking responsibility).

Worse is Me™ - do you agree that this is me?

15. The Perfectionist - INTP

Go to their pattern

I avoid vulnerability - always. I am a narcissist, am a massive and am not passive-aggressive.

I tend to have a stoic, confident demeanour and are famous for my mastermind strategies. But my loathing for vulnerability can lead to an emotional bottleneck, not letting the people closest to me see my true self. I would rather give myself papercuts than open up about my feelings; but this can lead to a long-term sense of isolation and an inability to find close, meaningful friendships. I will exit asap when I see fake people or idiots. I am the coldest human.

I should, but do not, practice expressing emotions through writing if verbal sharing is difficult. I should, but do not, jot down my feelings as a way to process them and guide decisions. I should, but do not, reflect on past instances where showing vulnerability led to positive outcomes. You should engage in empathetic confrontation (for my narcissism). You should set healthy limits (for me as a critic). [Elizabeth Hunter™ has never done any of these 'shoulds' in six decades!]

Worse is Me™ - do you agree that this is me?

16. The Enhancer - INTJ

Go to their pattern